


Whisper, I love you

by softlysoftly



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: ASMR, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domesticity, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Lots of Touching, M/M, Mild Angst, Neighbors, Touching, Youtube AU, technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:33:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27608381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softlysoftly/pseuds/softlysoftly
Summary: If you would have told Joe, 3 months ago, that his new, unbelievably loud neighbour would be sitting in front of him, totally silent and pliant and ready to let Joe do whatever he wanted to him, he would have told you, politely, that you were crazy.And yet, there Nicky sat, his back to him, his shoulders relaxed. Anticipation thrummed through the perfectly quiet room. Joe glanced at the monitor where Nicky’s eyes blazed back at him, a soft smile on his lips. Joe swallowed thickly.------Joe does ASMR, Nicky is his willing model. Let the pining and quiet, sensual touching commence!------
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 259
Kudos: 503





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt: "Joe records ASMR videos. Sometimes Nicky helps out, which is to say that hey gets comfy and lets Joe pet him for a while. (You know those Darya and Nelly videos? Yeah, half the comments on Joe's videos are "wow I'm gay")"
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! This is my first fic in forever so any feedback is so greatly appreciated :)

If you would have told Joe, 3 months ago, that his new, unbelievably loud neighbour would be sitting in front of him, totally silent and pliant and ready to let Joe do whatever he wanted to him, he would have told you, politely, that you were crazy. And yet, there Nicky sat, his back to him, his shoulders relaxed, and yet anticipation thrummed through the perfectly quiet room. Joe glanced at the monitor where Nicky’s eyes blazed back at him, a soft smile on his lips. Joe swallowed thickly.

How could his mortal enemy have turned into this? To be fair, mortal enemy (or mortal enemy with those _shoulders_ as Joe described him to Booker and Nile) was a strong epithet, but what else to call the man who moves in next door and insists on playing music at all hours of the day? And moving furniture back and forth for seemingly no reason? And seemingly inviting elephants over for midnight parties?

It would’ve been manageable (if annoying), if it wasn’t for the fact that half of Joe’s income depended on total, complete silence. His ASMR channel had gained a loyal following and he had a community of people who depended on his soft voice and soothing words and the minute movements of his warm dry hands to find some comfort in what was an increasingly scary world.

So, two weeks after being totally unable to film a video without some interruption, Joe worked up the necessary amount of courage and marched next door.

He was taken aback when Nicky opened up. The man was not what he'd expected from what he’d only seen from afar and from behind ( _Those shoulders!_ He’d complained to Nile who was looking out over the balcony with Joe at the man struggling to carry a giant load of groceries. _It’s not fair that a man so loud should have such nice shoulders._ Nile had laughed, craning for a better look. _Among other assets…_ Nile wiggled her eyebrows. Joe scowled at her. _Judas._ )

But this man, the one who opened the door, looked unimaginably...soft. There was no other word for it. His hair flopped over his forehead, just long enough to curl around his ears. A bit of downy scruff lined his jaw. He was wearing a giant holey sweater, an olive tea-towel draped over his shoulder, a pair of worn-in denim, wool socks. How could someone who wore wool socks make so much noise?

“Hi,” He answered with a wary smile.

“Hi, listen, I live next door… I…” Joe got distracted. The man’s eyes. His nose. The shape of his cupid’s bow. Joe’s fingers itched for something to draw with. _Traitors._

“Nice to meet you,” The man smiled wider. It finally reached his eyes which lit up, an ocean glinting with the sun. “I was wondering if anyone lived there -- it’s so quiet!”

Joe squinted, all thoughts of oceans and suns gone. “Right, well, about that. Um.”

“I’m Nicky,” The man held out his hand. Joe huffed impatiently and took it.

“Joe. Look --”

“Sorry, I just have some risotto on the stove that really needs my attention, would you like to come in?”

And that’s how Joe found himself in the apartment of his mortal enemy, hearing all about Nicky’s perilous move -- he had no bed, it had gotten lost somewhere. _How does one lose a bed?_ Joe asked. _Exactly!_ Nicky exclaimed. Joe didn’t tell him that he was confused how _Nicky_ lost a bed whereas Nicky was confused how the universe conspired to misplace it.

Joe surveyed the apartment around him. The layout was almost the same as his but covered in someone else’s minutiae. Piles of paper everywhere and so many books, Joe tried to read the titles but most were in Italian. There were plants in various states of decay -- Nicky explained most didn’t like to be moved but they would bounce back.

The kitchen was similarly chaotic, spices, beans, legumes, pulses, sauces, utensils, and strange appliances Joe couldn’t for the life of him imagine a use for. Nicky noticed his eyes roaming over the mess.

“Everything’s just… waiting for a home,” Nicky gestured vaguely with his hands.

The risotto simmered on the stove next to a pot of stock and Nicky tended to it carefully.

“It’s almost done,” Nicky smiled, taking a deep breath of the rich earthy aroma. He grabbed some thyme and started picking the leaves off carefully, while asking Joe how long he’d lived in the building, what was the deal with the garbage chute, and other minor neighborly small talk.

Joe answered in a bit of a daze as he watched Nicky maneuver around the kitchen. He was sure he came over with a point but what seemed important now was to watch this man elegantly tend to this small pot of rice. Gradually adding stock, adding salt, pepper, grating parmesan. His movements were fluid and easy in a way that made Joe wander idly if he was a chef or just extremely Italian.

“Ah,” Nicky sighed finally, after gingerly dipping a fresh spoon into the pot and taking a small bite. “ _Perfetto_. Can I interest you in a bowl?”

“Uh.” Joe wasn’t sure. Was it okay to eat with a handsome mortal enemy? There wasn’t really a handbook on these things.

“It’s a truffle risotto, lemon, thyme, parmesan,” Nicky described, as if Joe’s hesitation was based on a dietary restriction.

“Okay,” Joe shrugged. Surely taking advantage of your mortal enemy’s cooking was a good thing. _Ha! No leftovers for you!_ He tried to think evilly, but he could already tell his heart wasn’t in it.

“Great!” Nicky produced two bowls from a stray cardboard box and loaded them up, topping them off with some shaved mushrooms and cheese. Only then he realized he didn't have anything resembling a kitchen table or chairs.

“Uh, is the couch okay for you?” He asked, a small blush creeping up his face.

Joe cursed internally as he found it stupidly charming.

“Great,” He took his bowl and sat down at one end, Nicky at the other.

Joe held back an audible groan as he took his first bite. The rich, earthy flavour of the mushrooms melded with the bright flavour of the lemon and the balancing freshness of the herbs. _Fuck_ , Joe thought simply.

“So what do you Joe?” Nicky asked.

Joe was snapped back to reality. He put his bowl down carefully between his knees.

“Actually, that’s sort of what I came here to talk to you about,” He winced as Nicky’s brow knitted together. Joe realized he much preferred the calm, relaxed version of that face. He decided to get it over with quickly.

“I’m, um, a freelance artist, and a lot of my work requires total silence and, um, actually I came to ask, if you wouldn’t mind, keeping the noise to a minimum, at least during the day.” He said, tripping over his words. “If you don’t mind.” He added, redundancy deflating any pride he had left.

Nicky put his bowl down on a cardboard box.

“Joe, I apologize,” He said, his tone totally serious. “I really didn’t know anyone was living there and I had some friends over to help me paint and things. I really didn’t know.”

“That’s okay, I understand,” Joe, bashful, picked his bowl back up again. Suddenly _he_ felt like the annoying neighbour and that was just unfair. How had that happened?

“I promise to keep it down. I have some good headphones for music and after the bed gets here I will commit to furniture placement, I promise. I hate to think that I was disrupting you.”

“It’s fine, I get it,” Joe took another bite.

“What kind of art do you do?” Nicky asked.

“All different types,” Joe said. He always hated this conversation. Most people didn’t really know about or understand ASMR and to explain it always came out weird and slightly creepy. _Yes, new hot neighbour, I make videos of myself whispering and sensually caressing random objects for strangers on the internet so they can relax._ He stuck with his tried and true. “I do some illustration work, some audio recording stuff, whatever pays the bills.”

Nicky nodded. “I’d love to see it sometime.”

“Sure,” Joe agreed before even thinking about it. Nicky just seemed an easy person to give in to.

“I’m a grad student, so usually pretty quiet,” Nicky explained, even though Joe hadn’t asked. “Usually I spend the day reading old Italian literature. It doesn’t get more quiet than that.”

“I feel like Finnish literature has got to be more quiet than Italian literature,” Joe mused.

Nicky smiled brighter. Joe felt something in his stomach flutter.

“I think the Moomins would disagree with you there,” Nicky replied.

Joe giggled, he actually giggled? When was the last time that noise came out of his mouth. Nicky smiled even brighter and continued on to tell Joe how his mortal fear of the strange Finnish fairytale creatures turned into a bit of an embarrassing obsession. And Joe listened, enjoying the dramatic telling, getting distracted by the way Nicky’s lips seemed to cling to vowels, the way his mouth opened to the right when he was about to smile. Joe wanted him to talk forever. He longed for an easel, a piece of paper, a napkin, anything to draw on.

Nicky asked him about his most feared cartoon and suddenly day had turned to night. The sun set through Nicky’s window and a soft orange glow surrounded them. They continued chatting aimlessly, though their bowls were eventually clean. The sun retreated behind some buildings. Joe wondered if he should leave but Nicky offered seconds and Joe happily accepted. As Nicky refilled their bowls with the now room temperature risotto, Joe looked at the clock on the stove and gasped.

“It’s _not_ one in the morning!” He said, in a sudden panic. Not that he had anywhere to be or anyone to worry but, how had he come over to scold a neighbor and lost an evening?

“No!” Nicky said quickly. “I haven’t figured out how to change the time.” He looked at the unassuming watch on his wrist. “It’s only 8:30.”

Joe let out a relieved sigh. Sure, it was a little late, but this man hadn’t literally stolen his ability to measure time.

“I can do that for you.” He got up and knelt down in front of the stove. In one swift motion, Nicky kneeled next to him. Joe was suddenly aware of how close they were -- their shoulders (those _shoulders_ ) almost touching as Nicky watched Joe go through the very involved process of changing the time.

Up close, Joe could see the details of a small beauty mark on Nicky’s cheek, where it was hidden in his smile and facial hair. Joe had the oddest sensation that he wanted to bite it, just nip at it. _What. The. Fuck._ He thought to himself. _Just be normal._

But it was difficult with Nicky so close. So close, Joe could finally identify the source of the intoxicating scent he’d smelled earlier. Woody, herbal, earthy, like the sweet smell of a forest after a rainfall. And something deeper, muskier. Joe tried not to think about it. He needed to get out of there.

He left quickly after that, much to Nicky’s quickly hidden disappointment. After multiple promises of dead silence and many thanks for fixing the clock Joe rushed back into his own place and tried to calm down. It was surprisingly difficult without the ambient noise coming from next door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Nicky make an arrangement.

Joe hadn’t expected to suddenly miss that stomping, that loud music, those happy voices until they were actually gone. He certainly hadn’t expected a knock on his door two days later, and Nicky to arrive with a bottle of wine and a tupperware full of more risotto ( _It’s squash, are you vegetarian?_ ).

“I just wanted to apologize again, I’m really sorry Joe,” Nicky said completely seriously as he handed Joe the gifts.

Joe hadn’t expected to invite Nicky in to join him in eating said squash risotto and drinking what turned out to be a very nice bottle of wine.

Joe watched Nicky surveil his apartment. The neatly organized drafting table, the easels with half finished portraits of Nile and, _shit_ , Joe thought, the open door to his recording room. To an untrained eye, it looked weird, he knew it did. A dark room with foam covered walls, a binaural microphone with uncanny ear attachments, a relatively fancy camera pointing at the whole set up. He quickly closed the door, which he then realized made it look ten times more suspicious.

“It’s an art project,” Joe said vaguely. Nicky nodded slowly with a confused look on his face.

Joe tried to distract him with questions about his doctoral studies. _Yes, he wanted to be a professor_ , and _no, there were no jobs in academia._ He learned of Nicky’s academic parents and the strange route he came by to settling into doctoral student-hood (culinary school, tech startup, he’d even considered seminary). Somehow, Joe also started sharing the round about way he came to being an “artist” (surprisingly supportive parents, travelling, a brief stint in radio commercials). Joe was surprised how comfortable he felt sharing all this with the man he’d considered Most Hateful less than 48 hours before.

And yet, here they were, eating, drinking, making merry. Nicky had even cheekily told him to be quiet after Joe burst out in a particularly loud laugh, “Careful, I hear some of the neighbors need quiet around here!” which made Joe laugh even harder.

And that’s how it started. After long days of quiet, Joe working diligently recording videos, Nicky would just … show up. Sometimes with a new culinary concoction, sometimes with a bottle of wine and some fresh figs from the market down the road, sometimes with a distressed furrow in his brow and a microwave manual in his hand. And each time, Joe felt that same flutter in his stomach.

“I think what you’re describing is friendship,” Nile said after Joe described his predicament to her on her couch.

Booker nodded knowingly from the armchair.

“But,” Joe said helplessly. “He was so horrible when he moved in. You remember how loud he was?”

Nile rolled her eyes at him. “He was moving in, Joe, and he thought he was living next to a ghost!” Nile was eager to forgive Nicky his sin of existing, even though she’d never met him. She simply appreciated a good ass when she saw one.

“It’s not _his_ fault that you need complete silence so people can get their rocks off to you whispering,” Booker said.

Joe and Nile both shot him the same glare. Nile got it, Booker… Well, he tried.

“Oh god, what if he finds out,” Joe put his head in his hands.

Nile rubbed his back gently. “Who cares?”

“What if _he_ cares?” Joe said. Unavoidably his mind turned to his previous boyfriend, who found the whole endeavour off-putting, so much so that he’d asked Joe to stop and Joe had asked him to leave. But why was Joe even thinking about former boyfriends? He wasn’t even sure if Nicky was gay. He’d never even mentioned a former partner.

“Well, _if_ he somehow finds out and _if_ he is weird about it then we can go back to hating him in peace,” Booker said supportively. “I miss those days.”

“Anyway, how’s he gonna find out?” Nile asked.

It turned out, pretty easily.

Nicky showed up, as usual, at Joe’s door with a bottle of Merlot and a tray of freshly baked biscotti. An experiment, he’d announced, and Joe was to be his willing lab rat. Joe poured the wine and they settled in on his couch, tasting the biscotti which turned out to be delicious.

An hour and a few glasses later, their conversation settled and Joe could sense nervousness radiating at him from the other man. He sat on the edge of the couch, he picked crumbs off his jeans.

“What?” Joe asked, steeling himself.

“I don't want to sound weird,” Nicky said hesitantly.

“You always sound weird,” Joe teased but his heart was thumping in his chest.

“Is the reason you need so much quiet because you make videos?” Nicky asked. Just vague enough to let Joe lie.

Joe swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. “Yeah.”

“ASMR videos?” Nicky asked, his voice totally neutral, though Joe could tell there was something hidden behind the question.

Joe nodded.

“I hope you don’t think this is weird,” Nicky started glancing at his hands, as if… guilty? Joe couldn’t place it. “But...I found some of your videos, at least I’m pretty sure they’re yours, and I watched them all.”

Nicky kept staring down at his hands, fidgeting, as if stopping himself from clasping them together in penance.

“You watched them all?” Joe said incredulously. Even _he_ hadn’t watched all of his videos, they were usually hour-long affairs, he usually just edited any abrupt loud noises out and called it a day.

Nicky nodded. He looked up from his hands and gazed into Joe’s eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Huh?” Joe hadn’t expected an apology.

“It feels wrong to watch so much of you without your permission, those videos are so personal and … intimate … and it just feels weird and creepy for me to be…” He swallowed. “Falling asleep to you every night while you sleep next door and have no idea.”

Joe stared at him. Nicky was falling asleep to him every night?

“And I know me telling you this is probably even more awkward for you, and I get if it ruins …” He gestured to the wine and the biscotti crumbs. “But I couldn’t go on pretending I wasn’t a total freak, I just --”

“Stop,” Joe said finally. He reached out and grabbed Nicky’s hands. Nicky inhaled sharply.

“I’m sorry,” Nicky whispered again, staring at Joe’s warm hands encompassing his freezing ones.

“You really don’t have to be,” Joe said slowly, dipping his head to capture Nicky’s gaze.

To his horror, Joe noticed a tear threatening to drop from Nicky’s long eyelashes. Joe frowned as his hand automatically lifted up as the tear fell down Nicky’s face. Joe thumbed it away as his palm rested on Nicky’s cheek.

Nicky startled at the touch. His whole body seemed to shudder. Joe froze. It was the first time he’d touched Nicky’s face. He hadn’t even asked.

As he was about to draw his hand away, he felt Nicky lean in ever so slightly, his shoulders dropped, the tension in his brows eased away. His whole being relaxed into the palm of Joe’s hand.

Joe didn’t want to move, he didn’t want an inch of that tension back. So they rested there for a moment, Joe sweeping his thumb lightly over Nicky’s cheekbone, Nicky’s breathing slowing.

“It’s okay,” Joe said, and he noticed he had unconsciously taken on the vocal quality he usually reserved for videos. “I really don't mind if you watch my videos.” He paused, unsure of how to convince Nicky that was true. “That’s what they’re there for, to help people relax.”

“You really don’t mind?” Nicky asked again.

Joe shook his head. They stared at each other for a moment more, Joe suddenly aware of the heat of Nicky’s cheek under his hand. He dropped it slowly.

“A lot of my friends watch them, actually,” Joe said, trying to ease Nicky’s mind. “In fact, I only experimented with the pencil crayons last week because my friend Nile suggested it.”

Nicky nodded, he enjoyed that one immensely.

“Now, if only they would agree to be _in_ my videos…” Joe chuckled to himself. He’d been needling Nile and Booker to join him ever since he’d seen a video with some friends in it do extremely well. They insisted they were camera shy.

Nicky looked at him resolutely, as if making up his mind. “I could do it, I could be in your video.”

“Are you sure?” Joe asked slowly. It was a big ask, putting your face out in public in a little understood sub-genre. That sort of thing was not for the faint of heart.

Nicky nodded. “If it would mean a live performance, I would be honored.”

Joe poured them each another glass of wine and they started discussing contracts (Nicky would not hear of accepting any money, he would consider an hour and a half massage his payment, much to Joe’s protestation), limits (Nicky was okay with everything except touching his hair, to Joe’s surprise, he didn’t force him to elaborate), and, of course, outfits (something soft, comfortable and no brand labels).

When the wine and the conversation was done, Nicky left with a giant grin on his face and a hug. _A hug!_ Joe thought dizzily, their first. It was encompassing, as if Nicky’s arms were made to fit around Joe’s body’s just so. Joe was ensconced in the scent he had come to associate with Nicky and he breathed in deeply.

Joe closed the door and slumped back into the couch. He stared up at the ceiling, hoping this wouldn’t be a huge mistake.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Nicky record their first video.

Joe did one last check to make sure the microphone and the camera were recording. He also adjusted the lighting just a touch. The soft orange glow illuminated Nicky’s hair and brushed over his shoulders, again Joe’s finger twitched.

“Alright, you ready to do this?” Joe asked.

Nicky nodded and took a deep, shaky breath.

Joe nodded back and maneuvered around Nicky to get behind him. A quick glance to the monitor and he saw that they were both in frame, but Nicky’s face and shoulders were the focus. _Perfect_ , he thought.

“Okay,” Joe whispered and placed his hands on Nicky’s shoulders. Nicky’s slight shivering stilled at his touch.

“Okay,” Joe whispered again, settling himself.

“Hi everyone, welcome to today’s video.” His whispers were soft, precise, each word enunciated with just enough force.

“Today we have a very special guest joining us, this is my friend Nicky.” He squeezed Nicky’s left shoulder and elicited a small, nervous grin. “So we’re doing something a little different.” Joe’s thumb started moving quite beyond his control, tracing the juncture between neck and shoulder.

“Today, we’re going to just hang out, relax, and Nicky’s very kindly helping me out by being my model,” Joe flicked his eyes to the monitor where Nicky was still grinning.

“My pleasure,” Nicky whispered.

Joe felt it reverberate around the room. Nicky’s whisper was gravelly, low, it seemed to rumble around him. Was his voice always like that? Joe realized he’d never heard him whisper before.

“So first, I’m going to focus on the neck and shoulders,” Joe said as he brushed his fingers, featherlight, across Nicky’s broad shoulders. Joe’s brain short-circuited for a moment just on a loop of _shoulders shoulders shoulders_. This close, he couldn’t believe their sheer size, they seemed to go on forever. Not that Nicky was particularly built, or anything, (Joe couldn’t picture him in a gym) but the _shape_ of him.

Thankfully, while his mind caught up, Joe’s fingers continued to move, tracing up and down Nicky’s shoulders, occasionally drifting forward to where Nicky’s collarbones were framed by the loose scoop of his old t-shirt.

Joe glanced at the monitor again. Nicky’s grin had softened, his eyes half-lidded.

“Nicky holds a lot of tension in his shoulders,” Joe whispered slowly. “He spends most of his day hunched over books.”

Where Joe knew Nicky would usually argue ( _I don’t hunch!_ ), he simply exhaled with a little huff. Joe couldn’t believe how quickly Nicky had shifted into this relaxed version of himself, all his kinetic nervous energy was sapped out of him as soon as Joe started touching him.

Joe kept one hand lightly tapping around Nicky’s right shoulder, with the other he started to caress Nicky’s neck with fluttering touches.

Nicky inhaled deeply, his eyes closing, his eyebrows drawing together.

“Good?” Joe asked with a smile that Nicky couldn't see.

“Si,” Nicky breathed out, his own soft smile returning.

Joe’s other hand joined him at Nicky’s neck, fingers working up and down, tracing the long column. He swirled a finger around Nicky’s adam's apple which bobbed up and down in a thick swallow. Joe found himself focussed on the way Nicky’s pulse seemed to throb in his jugular, too fast at first. Nicky was supposed to be relaxing. Maybe he needed the whispering?

Joe started rambling in a low soft whisper, about necks, shoulders, relaxation. He wasn’t even entirely too sure what was coming out of his mouth but that happened in a lot of his videos. He just started and the words flowed, supplied by some endless well.

As he spoke, Joe’s fingers danced over the long vein in Nicky’s neck, the hectic thump had slowed to a steady beat. Strong but steady.

After fifteen minutes (or hours, Joe couldn’t tell), of exploring Nicky’s neck and shoulders Joe adjusted himself slightly to the right so he could look at Nicky’s profile as his thumbs moved upwards to make small circles on the sweet spot where jaw met neck.

He shifted Nicky’s head to the side so he could cradle it in both hands. Nicky’s eyes opened slowly and he gazed at Joe as though drunk, a goofy smile overtaking his face.

“How are you doing?” Joe asked.

Nicky just nodded, words seemed to elude him.

Joe smiled back and brought his fingers up to smooth across Nicky’s eyebrows, over and over again petting the soft hair there.

Joe’s fingers then circled around and found a rhythm, back and forth, in the deep, dark recesses under Nicky’s eyes.

“You need to get more sleep,” Joe said fondly, though he found the way the dark circles offset Nicky’s glittering eyes a thing of beauty. Nicky huffed a small laugh.

“ _Mi distraggo dalla tua bella voce_ ,” Nicky whispered, staring up at Joe as though he had hung the moon.

Joe smiled and wondered if Nicky was even aware he had spoken in Italian.

He moved on to Nicky’s nose, that glorious nose, stroking it up and down for what felt like hours. Nicky endearingly scrunched it up as Joe moved on to his cheeks and chin tapping and moving in light circles. He paid special attention to his beauty mark.

Nicky’s face was surprisingly soft and dry and Joe could tell the sounds of his gentle ministrations mixed with Nicky’s contented sighs and his own occasional whispers would make for a good video.

Joe rested a thumb at the corner of Nicky’s mouth and to his surprise it fell open and a rush of air escaped. The soft wet noise of Nicky’s mouth opening so easily, so willingly, felt deafening.

Joe traced his finger along Nicky’s lower lip. It dragged slightly and Nicky’s tongue darted out to smooth the way for him. Joe paused.

He took a deep breath and continued.

His thumb glided across the now slick pink skin. He wondered what Nicky would do if his thumb moved forward, over that white ridge of teeth into the wet velvet heat within.

Nicky’s eyes fluttered open, they seemed to struggle to focus on Joe. His face was completely slack and Joe was sure that if he had, if his fingers _did_ find their way into Nicky’s mouth, he wouldn’t object.

Joe cleared his throat as softly as he could and continued tracing the outline of Nicky’s lips, spending a few extra minutes just tapping along his lovely cupid’s bow. Nicky’s eyes closed again.

Eventually, Joe maneuvered back around to stand once again behind Nicky. His hands returned to his collarbones, tracing them with more featherlight touches.

Nicky’s head fell back with a gentle thunk, landing on the soft stretch of stomach between Joe’s ribs. It was as if he was so relaxed, his neck no longer functioned to hold the weight of his head.

Joe moved to his ears, tracing the ridges and rubbing over the soft lobes. He felt Nicky’s head, heavy against his abdomen, sway back and forth as Joe switched between right and left ear, again and again.

Joe looked down and was again struck by how pliant Nicky was. He gazed up at him, his eyes heavy, looking intoxicated, sated, hypnotized. Had Joe really done all that?

He cupped the back of Nicky’s skull in his palm and leaned into his ear, whispering, “How are we doing Nicky?” His breath was warm and close as it ghosted over the shell of Nicky’s ear. Joe watched as the hair on Nicky’s arms stood on end as a shiver seemed to roll over his whole body like a wave.

“ _Perfetto_ ,” Nicky sighed, leaning into Joe’s palm, exposing the long line of his neck, as if inviting Joe to take a bite.

“Excellent,” Joe said, gently shifting Nicky’s head to his other hand, leaning above his other ear.

“Well, thank you for joining Nicky and me tonight. If you liked the video, please like and subscribe and consider supporting the Patreon so I can treat Nicky to an eye mask. As always,” Joe paused, his usual outro seemed strange to say with such a touch-drunk, gorgeous man in his hands. “I love you and you deserve peace and rest. Take care, sweet dreams.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The (slightly sexy) aftermath of their first video.

Nicky returned to his apartment and fell into his bed without even brushing his teeth. His head was blessedly empty, his whole body felt like it was buzzing.

_Relaxed, safe,_ his mind supplied, _when was the last time you felt that?_ He wondered as he drifted easily into sleep, only awoken for a moment at the sound of a door slamming somewhere in the distance.

Joe, on the other hand, moved frantically around his apartment, so keyed up he felt like had to go on a jog or something equally drastic. He then decided to be productive, popped in his wireless headphones, and spent an hour making sure the footage was properly recorded then had to stop when he reached the moment where Nicky’s tongue wet his lips. Joe stared at the video in front of him.

“Fuck,” he whispered to no one in particular.

His body seemed to agree and he felt himself growing achingly hard. His jeans, which usually fit him perfectly, now felt uncomfortably tight. His conscience swooped in. _Isn’t it weird to jerk off to the thought of your neighbor? Your friend? The man you just spent an hour and a half caressing for the internet?_ On the other hand, _Isn’t it weirder to let your lust for him fester instead of just dealing with it and moving on with your life?_

His body agreed, he felt his cock twitch impatiently. He rushed to his bedroom, slamming the door and turning off the lights. He sprawled across the bed and tugged his jeans down. One hand flung to his dresser for some lube, the other releasing himself from his underwear.

His thoughts were consumed by Nicky’s mouth, his nose, the shape of his neck.

He didn’t even realize until he was fucking up into his fist that he still had his headphones in. He wasn’t just imagining Nicky’s soft sighs, he was hearing them as the video continued playing in the other room.

“ _Fuuuck_ ,” Joe groaned loudly, a tight heat coiling in his belly.

His pace quickened with his heart beat. He suddenly found himself gasping for air as the wet sounds of his hand on his cock mixed with the soft breathiness of Nicky’s sighs and the delicate sound of Joe’s fingers moving across his lips.

Joe felt himself getting closer and closer, his cock now slick with lube and his own precome. He felt the pressure building as he worked himself faster and faster in his tight wet fist. He screwed his eyes shut, focussing on the pleasure building with each tug. He knew it wouldn’t be long.

Suddenly, in his ear he heard someone whisper, “You like that don’t you?” A soft sigh answered.

A noise strangled in his throat as he came. His head flung back, and his feet dug into the mattress as thick ropes of come shot over his fist and onto his shirt. His brain shorted out, his head empty as he stared at the ceiling, his chest heaving and the sounds of Nicky breathing heavy in his ear.

He didn’t remember saying that.

He looked down at the mess of himself, still breathing heavily. He threw an arm over his face and exhaled into his elbow.

* * *

“Andy, you need to see this,” Quynh said to her partner as she was scrolling through the comments on the youtube video. They’d watched it the night before when Nicky had sent it to them in a text that read: “Joe’s new video, featuring me! I’m only sending it to you so you don’t find it on your own.”

They, of course, watched it immediately. Andy commented on how peaceful Nicky looked, Quynh replying it must be how he looked when he was thoroughly fucked-out (which earned her a playful nudge from Andy).

Though it might be hard to explain to the rest of the faculty, Andy was just happy to see Nicky look so relaxed and to see this Joe (hot neighbour with the _smile_ , as Nicky called him) treating Nicky so gently, so well. He looked at Nicky like he was something precious. On that they agreed.

Quynh couldn’t stop watching it.

Andy, who had been busy on her side of the bed with her own computer, rolled over to tuck her head on Quynh’s breast and stare at her screen. “What?”

“Look at the comments on Nicky’s video,” Quynh scrolled to the top so Andy could get a good view.

_Am I … interrupting something?_

_HAROLD!_

_I was today years old when I realized I am gay_

_How do I explain to my husband why I’m watching this??_

_Omg, this is so relaxing, please get Nicky back!_

_Do you want me to lock the door for you guys??_

_Get you a man who looks at you like this 4:38_

_I am VERY comfortable with the energy we have created in the studio today_

_Me: opens this vid to fall asleep too. Also me: watches the whole thing and proceeds to take a cold shower..._

_Ummm …. Am I old enough to be watching this?_

Andy’s eyes widened as she moved Quynh’s hand out of the way so she could scroll faster. There were thousands of comments, all positive with varying levels of horniness.

“Oh my god,” She said, barely restraining a giggle.

“He really does have a nice smile,” Quynh said, agreeing with the comments that said as much.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Nicky discuss their success, and Joe meets Nicky's friends.

Of course, the video quickly became Joe’s most successful upload. The combination of his whispering and Nicky’s blissed-out reactions seemed to strike a chord with his loyal following. He could understand it. As Joe watched the video back, again and again, he saw the intimacy there, the trust, the care that was the secret ingredient in his own favourite videos.

Two days after it was posted, after the numbers started growing exponentially, Nicky showed up again at Joe’s doorstep, this time with a bottle of scotch (a red ribbon tied around its neck) and a bag of clementines.

As per usual, Joe insisted Nicky come in, share the gift. They settled on the couch in their usual positions and toasted to each other, to the video. Joe peeled the fruit and handed Nicky the segments one by one as Nicky told him how he was getting non-stop messages from acquaintances, telling them just how jealous they were of his new job.

“I really should be paying you,” Joe said as he chewed, sunshine bursting in his mouth.

Nicky shook his head. “ _I_ should be paying _you_.” He paused about to say something but thought better of it.

“What?”

Nicky shot him a nervous glance before pulling out his phone, tapping around for a moment until he seemed to find what he was looking for. He handed it over to Joe and took a deep gulp of his scotch.

Joe looked at the screen - a list entitled “Ideas for Videos.” As he read, a smile grew on his face. Nicky had compiled a rather creative list of all the things Joe could do to him. It made Joe dizzy.

“I don’t want to step on your toes Joe, I know what we did wasn’t your usual video. But I thought since it did so well you might want to do another, and, well, I wanted to be prepared.”

Joe finally looked up at him, unable to suppress a huge grin.

And so, as summer turned to autumn, as the trees around them started flushing and the ground turned to carpets of amber and gold, Nicky and Joe began to meet, every other week, to discover new ways of finding comfort. Nicky insisted they shoot in the evening (he was absolutely useless after making a video, brain turned to static, bones to rubber). He would always show up with something to drink or something to snack on as they set up. 

As the season changed, Joe noticed little changes more than big ones.The food he brought included more root vegetables and warm spices. Nicky showed up in big sweaters and thick woollen turtlenecks instead of his usual faded t-shirts. His hair (which Joe had still not run his fingers through, despite the overwhelming urge) grew longer. Joe longed to thread his fingers through, tuck it behind Nicky's ears, scratch his scalp but Nicky had been strict about his hair rule. Any time Joe's fingers too long along his hairline, Nicky would tense up and Joe would quickly move on. 

But Joe also noticed a shift in their routine. Now Nicky would pop by in the middle of the day ( _Can I work in here? I’m exhausted of my apartment_ ). Joe was glad for the company as they worked in companionable silence. Joe edited while Nicky read, eventually one would make coffee for them both.

The new arrangement even led to one of their most popular new videos - Nicky reading old Italian literature in his sonorous, rumbling whisper as Joe tried to distract him with soft touches (it ended, as per usual, with the book completely forgotten on Nicky’s lap and Nicky reduced to putty in Joe’s admiring hands).

Nile said it was one of her favourites, while Booker said he had stopped watching to give them some privacy (to which both Joe and Nile rolled their eyes).

But what Joe noticed most was the subtle shift in the air between them. Joe realized Nicky's easy friendliness was mask, a genuine mask, but a mask nonetheless. After longs days and nights spent in each other's company, Joe saw glimpses of a raw tenderness there. There was something deep and longing in those fathomless eyes when Nicky didn't think he was being watched.

The more they filmed, the more they spent time together, the more loose they became around each other. Joe’s hand would casually brush over Nicky’s as he handed him a steaming mug of coffee. Nicky would stick his always-freezing feet under Joe’s warm thighs as they sat across from each other on the couch, each absorbed in their own work. Joe’s hand would steer Nicky on his lower back as he maneuvered around him in the kitchen as Nicky made them lunch. The intimacy they performed for the camera seemed to seep easily into their daily lives, like ink into water.

The touches grounded Joe, he realized one evening where he was feeling particularly agitated for no specific reason. Nicky hadn’t shown up all day. They had never formally decided on this daily schedule, but Joe felt a strange pit in his stomach at not having the other man around.

After trying and failing to distract himself with work and some mindless reality TV, Joe grabbed his laptop, threw on a pair of slippers and headed next door.

“Joe!” cried the gorgeous woman, pointedly _not_ Nicky, who opened the door. She had long black hair and a wicked smile. _Quynh_ , he thought, Nicky had told him plenty of stories about his best friends. Quynh was exactly how he'd pictured her. 

“Hi, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Joe stammered. Now the door was open, he heard voices coming from inside, some soft music tinkling out of a speaker, the sound of something simmering on the stove.

“Not at all, come on in, we were just talking about you!” Quynh beckoned him inside.

They headed to the kitchen where Nicky and a woman who must be Andy were engaged in a lively conversation while Nicky chopped vegetables.

“Look who’s joining us!” Quynh announced as she presented Joe like a winning prize in a flurry of arms.

“Joe!” Nicky exclaimed, more surprise than joy on his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you had guests, I just wanted to ask you something about tomorrow’s video,” Joe gestured to the laptop that now felt awkward and bulky in his hands.

“Well, you have to stay for dinner,” Andy said, leaning against the counter. She cast an unreadable look to Quynh who grabbed Joe’s elbow.

“Yes, I want to hear all about Nicky as a model, I am absolutely obsessed with your videos.”

She led Joe to the couch and poured him a glass of prosecco. Nicky caught his eye and mouthed, _Sorry_ , as Andy kept him busy in the kitchen.

As the sky darkened outside, earlier and earlier these days, they sat down at Nicky’s now-existent kitchen table. The table was laden with Nicky’s best autumnal recipes, pumpkin, squash, everything simmered in the deep spices of fall, everything including a bright complementary sauce or a dusting of pomegranate seeds.

Andy and Nicky talked departmental politics, with Quynh interjecting every so often to explain to Joe the who’s who of comp lit. Joe didn’t really follow but he was enjoying seeing Nicky in this new situation. He especially enjoyed how every now and then, Nicky would smile at him as if they shared a secret, as if it was Joe that was causing the warm glow around the table.

Indeed, it was some tall beeswax candles that cast the gentle glow around them. Joe couldn’t help but gaze fondly as the warm light flickered across the planes of Nicky’s face. Joe's fingers itched. What he wouldn't give for a bit of charcoal, some soft ochre pigment. While it was usually Nicky's eyes that inspired Joe, tonight his nose was a masterpiece, a sonnet-in-wait. One day he would paint him, one day.

“So, what’s next?” Andy asked Joe directly, shaking him out of his reverie.

“Yeah, I’ve got so many video ideas for you,” Quynh said. “I’ve been researching your competition and I think you need to invest in another camera.” She began to list off her ideas excitedly, each one with a corresponding mood-board, and Nicky laughed at the particularly outlandish ones.

Andy rolled her eyes and got up with her plate. Joe followed her lead, as did Nicky but with Andy pushed his shoulder down lightly.

“Cooks don’t clean.”

Quynh stayed at the table to continue to brainstorm with him and Joe followed Andy into the kitchen.

“I’ll wash, you dry,” Andy announced.

Joe nodded.

He was oddly intimidated by her, but he could sense there was something of a leader in this woman. He found himself thinking he would have followed her into battle.

For now he just dried the dishes with her by his side as they listened to Quynh in the other room get more and more excited by her own ideas.

“Nicky really seems to be enjoying spending time with you,” Andy said quietly as she handed him a dripping plate.

“He’s…” Joe considered his words, “a great neighbour.”

Andy scoffed with a warm smile.

“I never would’ve thought I’d see our shy dear Nicky becoming a viral video star.” Andy handed him another plate.

“I really didn't expect those videos to do _so_ well,” Joe said, and truly he hadn’t.

“Well, there’s a lot of care there,” Andy said and looked at him pointedly. Joe felt like she could see right through him. He suddenly, desperately, wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else.

“Look,” Andy continued as she hefted a heavy enamelled pot into the sink. “I don’t know what’s going on between you but just be careful, okay? Nicky’s not…” She paused, searching for the right words. “Nicky will let himself get hurt and I really don’t want to see that happen. Not again.”

Joe nodded slowly but his mind was reeling. Nicky had been hurt, Joe thought, and it felt undeniably true. Joe sometimes felt an aching tenderness beneath his good nature. But Andy thought there was something going on between them too. _Was there?_ Joe wondered as they continued to work in silence.

When they were almost done, Quynh and Nicky called them back to the table to show them a video Quynh was playing on her phone.

“We have to try it Joe,” Nicky said, beaming up at him. Joe shrugged and smiled back but then caught another implacable glance from Andy.

He leaned into Nicky’s touch on his shoulder as Nicky showed him the video. But he was watching Nicky’s face which glowed with contentment. Joe once again found himself distracted by those ocean eyes. He found himself wondering, _what pain lingered there?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Nicky record another video.

Joe was taken aback at how quickly Nicky seemed to take off his shirt. One big motion, all arms and elbows, and it was off. The vast expanse of chest and shoulders and stomach stunned Joe into silence.

“Everything look okay?” Nicky asked. Joe knew he was talking about the framing of the shot but still...

“Yeah, just a second,” Joe swallowed, willing himself to focus on the camera again.

He adjusted accordingly and made sure both cameras were rolling. One was set up to capture Nicky’s torso from behind. The other pointed from the opposite angle, to capture all the minute expressions of relaxation on Nicky’s face. Nicky sat on a stool purloined from the kitchen so the audience could get an unencumbered view of his broad back.

Joe slotted himself between Nicky and the camera that was pointed at his face. He hadn’t really thought this through, he realized, as Nicky looked up at him expectantly - he would be face to face with Nicky the whole video. Usually, he stood behind him. This new position would interesting to say the least. Nicky spread his legs slightly so Joe could move closer. 

“Okay?” Joe asked, more to stall than anything. Nicky nodded, rolling back his shoulders and adjusting his posture slightly.

“Okay,” Joe took a deep breath, in and out, and put his warm hands on Nicky’s shoulders, steadying himself. He looked past Nicky and into the camera pointed at his back.

“Welcome back everyone,” He whispered. “Thanks for joining me here this evening. Nicky’s here with me again and we wanted to shout out Quynh for giving us today’s video idea.” He started petting Nicky’s shoulders lightly, his fingers lingered at Nicky’s neck.

“Today, I’m going to be doing a little tracing on Nicky’s back,” Joe continued. He wrapped his arms around Nicky's middle, and traced one long, featherlight line up Nicky’s spine, barely touching him. Nicky shivered intensely.

“Good?”

Nicky nodded, his eyes closing as Joe traced the line back down.

“There may even be a secret message hidden at some point in the video, so pay attention,” Joe whispered. He and Nicky had agreed that Joe would trace _sweet dreams_ over and over on his back, try for some positive subliminal messaging.

Joe’s fingertips ghosted along Nicky’s lower back in small circles and Nicky let out a soft sigh. His posture changed again, the tension he was holding there easing out. Joe smiled and started whispering about tension and backs and the usual sweet nonsense he always came up with when Nicky was in his hands.

He moved up Nicky’s back. His fingers spread out, splaying across the back of Nicky’s ribcage. He felt it expand and contract as Nicky took a deep breath. Joe ran his finger across the outline of each bone, tracing each one carefully from the middle of his back across his side to his front where they framed his stomach.

Joe whispered about how strong those ribs needed to be, to protect such a big heart.

Nicky smiled again, but this one seamed heavier somehow, the corners of his lips seemed to strain with the effort. A crease formed between his eyes.

Joe immediately abandoned Nicky’s back and brought his hands up to Nicky's face. He couldn't stand to see a single harsh line there. He traced across Nicky’s brow and around Nicky’s lips until any tension that lingered there melted away.

When Nicky was finally smiling serenely again, Joe returned to drawing invisible lines up and down Nicky’s spine, watching as Nicky's breathing got slow and heavy. 

Joe's mind started to wander as Nicky relaxed. He wondered idly if this angle was better or worse for him personally. He was happy to be on this side of Nicky, so close he could feel each warm exhale of breath as Nicky leaned into his touch. But he was so close that he found himself getting lost in Nicky's each minute movement. It was driving Joe to distraction.

Joe stared at Nicky's lashes brushing across his cheek. _Oh to be a eyelash..._

_To be an eyelash?_ Joe caught himself thinking, rather harshly. _To be an eyelash? When you already have your hands full of this lovely man?_ Joe's hands slowed their movement up and down Nicky's back as he wrestled with the inherent selfishness of being offered intimacy on a silver platter and yet wanting more. 

As Joe’s movements slowed, Nicky opened his eyes, sensing something in the air had changed. He regarded Joe’s slight frown of concentration.

Nicky then lifted his hands and placed them lightly on Joe’s hips.

It was Joe’s turn to release a shuddering breath.

Nicky pulled him ever so slightly closer and, with his hands still searing into Joe’s body through his shirt, Nicky used his elbows to nudge Joe back into motion.

Joe smiled down at him. He went back to tracing small circles between Nicky’s shoulder blades and Nicky settled back, his eyes closing again.

But Nicky didn’t remove his hands from Joe's side. They merely slackened, resting in the divots of Joe’s hips as if they were made to rest there, as if they would stay there for the rest of time, as if as if he and Joe had been carved out of the same piece of marble.

“Okay,” Joe whispered, forcing himself to stop focusing on Nicky's hands. “Get ready for the secret message.” And he started to trace _sweet dreams_ across Nicky’s shoulders. Over and over again.

He watched as his fingers, barely touching Nicky's skin, conjured wave after wave of shivers sweeping through Nicky’s body.

Nicky kept inhaling shakily, rolling his shoulders as they were overtaken by goosebumps, his whole back a constellation. Joe chased after them, delicately tracing patterns across the now over-sensitive skin. He felt drunk on the sensation as each circle and each scrape across a new plane of skin created more and more waves.

Nicky’s breath hitched in his throat and Joe snapped back to reality.

“Getting the message?” Joe asked with a smile, slowing slightly.

Nicky’s hands clenched minutely at Joe’s hips and Joe moved in even closer. He was bracketed now by Nicky’s thighs, his clothed chest almost brushing against Nicky’s skin.

“Loud and clear,” Nicky replied in a shaking whisper.

They continued for a while, Joe oscillating between _sweet dreams, take care,_ and _I love you_. Nicky’s smile turned softer and softer, as he was lulled into his most relaxed state.

Eventually Joe looked at the clock, had it really been an hour since they started? The more videos they made, the more relaxing Joe found it. Once they’d settled on a rhythm, Joe found he could very easily lose time caressing Nicky, admiring him with his fingertips until Nicky was totally at ease.

But the camera only had so much battery.

He figured Nicky would want to add his usual “ _Sogni d’oro_ ” to the end of the video, so Joe determined to bring him carefully back down to earth from whatever blissful state he’d achieved.

With the nail of his index finger, Joe slowly swept one long line up along Nicky’s spine. One long, pointed scratch. Nicky gasped, arching his whole torso into Joe.

Joe froze.

His brain worked overtime to accommodate the abundance of new sensation. Nicky’s trembling breath, his hands now tightly gripping Joe’s sides, his chest heaving against Joe’s, two hard nipples felt like they were spearing him through.

“Sorry,” Nicky whispered with a bashful smile as he leaned back, releasing Joe and clasping his hands in front of himself. The short distance now felt like a gulf between them. 

“It’s fine,” Joe reassured him. He didn’t say that he found Nicky’s sensitivity both endearing and searingly beautiful. He didn’t say that he wanted to make Nicky make that sound again and again. Instead, he steadied himself and gingerly reached out to put his hands back on the top of Nicky’s shoulders, tapping lightly.

Nicky, as always, relaxed at Joe’s touch. His hands loosened to lay in his lap and his breathing evened out as Joe’s thumbs began to soothe up and down Nicky’s neck. Joe was careful to keep some distance between them, suddenly aware of a tightness, a dull heat pulsing through his lower abdomen 

"Almost done," Joe whispered. He matched Nicky's breathing and the air in the room seemed to soften. Nicky’s eyes closed again as Joe’s fingers found his cheekbone, his chin, the bridge of his nose. Joe gazed down at his open face.

His heart clenched as he remembered Andy’s words. _He will let himself get hurt..._

Suddenly, Nicky’s hands were on his hips again8, stronger this time, pulling Joe back towards him, closing the gap. Joe smiled and looked down at the hair’s breadth between them. If Nicky were to breathe deeply the peaks of those rosy nipples, dusted loosely around with soft hair, would brush against Joe again. The idea made him dizzy.

Nicky’s tongue swept across his plush lower lip. “Thank you Joe,” he sighed, his eyes still closed.

Joe’s throat felt tight with affection. He didn’t know what to say. In this position, between Nicky’s thighs, so much bare skin at his fingertips, his hands cradling Nicky’s head, Joe could almost imagine leaning down and catching that lip between his teeth, licking into that soft, pliant mouth.

Joe’s mind was stuck on this image as his hands moved freely across Nicky’s face. By now, they simply moved of their own accord, exploring Nicky like he was precious, touching him like he was a lover, resting there like he was home.

His fingers smoothed across Nicky’s forehead, where a soft lock of hair had fallen. Joe brushed it away tenderly, fingers carding through Nicky’s hair, gently scraping across Nicky’s scalp.

Nicky yelped, or moaned, the noise was so loud Joe couldn’t tell. His eyes flew open as he forcefully pushed Joe away. Joe stumbled back. The audio equipment shorted out at the sudden outburst, red light flashing throughout the small room.

Nicky clasped both hands to his mouth and stared at Joe, his chest heaving, panic in his eyes.

Joe held his breath. Red light blinked silently around them.

Nicky glanced nervously around the room. He looked trapped, vulnerable, Joe desperately wanted to cover him up, turn on the lights, hold him close, but he didn’t dare move.

“Nicky?” He said slowly in a low voice, whispers gone.

Nicky choked out something along the lines of “‘m so sorry,” and he darted towards the door, brushing past Joe and practically sprinting out of the apartment.

Joe was left standing there, dumbstruck, until he heard Nicky’s front door slam.

Joe picked up the sweater he’d left behind and hugged it to his chest. _What the fuck have I done?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! A little bit of mild angst, just to spice it up! I promise a happy ending though! Thank you all for being so enthusiastic about this silly, cozy story thus far. These comments and kudos are truly giving me the utmost serotonin.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the video, Joe attempts a Grand Gesture, and Joe and Nicky finally talk.

A day, two days, a week, two weeks, almost a month passed and Joe hadn’t heard anything from Nicky. His apartment was conspicuously quiet. Joe thought even his door was closing more quietly than usual. Joe texted him but immediately regretted it. How can he apologize by text? Is he a teenager?

He tried to keep calm and ignore the constant gnawing in his chest. Nicky could take all the time he needed, he thought to himself, even as part of him panicked at the thought of never seeing him again. The sight of moving vans outside of the building nearly sent Joe into hyperventilation, but it was just a new family moving in down the hall. 

So Joe tried to distract himself with work. More videos, more freelance illustration, even a virtual teaching gig. But it seemed hollow somehow, his heart wasn’t in it.

His followers noticed immediately, leaving encouraging comments: _Does he seemed extra tired?_ and _If you need some time off, take it! We love you!_ and _I miss Nicky!_

_Same,_ he thought as he published another video of himself quietly tapping and toying with blue paints and inks and pencil crayons.

Eventually, he worked up the nerve to message Quynh on her social media. Andy, of course, didn’t have any online presence to speak of, but Quynh’s was public and full of aesthetically pleasing pictures of her, of her and Andy, of what must be their elegant black cat. He messaged her, asking if Nicky was okay.

She responded with a shrugging emoji and a heart.

_At least he’s alive_ , Joe thought bitterly.

But it didn’t help him sleep better at night. It didn’t stop him from watching the videos he’d made with Nicky over and over again. It didn’t stop his heart from aching at every small sound from next door, every time the water turned on, every time a chair scraped against the floor. It didn’t stop him from curling up at night, his face stuffed into Nicky’s sweater, inhaling that woody, herbal scent and feeling the push and pull of comfort and longing in his chest.

“Give him some time,” Nile said patiently, as she paid for their coffees. Joe had been getting out of the apartment more, insisting Nile meet him at local coffee shops. It just felt wrong to be there, to be working, without Nicky by his side.

“How _much_ time?” Joe asked. He took the coffee gratefully and held it with both his hands. It was getting well and truly cold out. The crisp breeze that had previously been a refreshing change from the humid weight of summer now felt too cold, it seeped into his bones. 

Nile looked thoughtfully at him.

“You’ve really fallen for him haven’t you?” She asked quietly.

Joe felt his face go hot and red. He had, of course he had, but he didn’t like how obvious it was to Nile. Especially when Nicky wouldn’t even acknowledge his presence, let alone allow him to apologize.

“I really fucked up Nile,” Joe said, taking a sip of his coffee and staring out into the street where the leaves were falling.

“Yeah,” Nile agreed. “Give him time.”

Booker, on the other hand, was Team Grand Gesture. Even if it was a quixotic bandaid on a chasm, Joe liked the idea of doing _something_ , anything, anything other than waiting for Nicky to text him back or hovering outside his door as he came back with groceries, hoping to run into Nicky coming or going.

No, Booker was right, showing up at his door with a meal in his hands and a _mea culpa_ on his lips was just stupid enough to work.

“You sure you don’t want me to come over and help?” Booker asked over the speakerphone as Joe finished scribbling down the instructions for the overly complicated French dish.

“I’m sure,” Joe nodded, excited at the prospect of action, despite being terrified by the precise times and exact measurements.

“Alright, well call me if you need help and don’t burn the onions!”

“What do I look like, a guy who burns onions?” Joe asked with a grin.

That was, in fact, exactly what he looked like.

Three hours, five onions, four pots, three scorched tea towels, two nervous breakdowns, and one sliced open palm later, Joe found himself in a smoky kitchen, holding his bloody hand as the fire alarm wailed angrily at him.

“Oh come on,” he groaned as the noise seemed to get progressively louder and more shrill.

The alarm blared as he grabbed one of the singed tea towels with his uninjured hand and tried waving the smoke away.

The alarm only seemed to get faster and louder, encouraged by his feeble attempts to stop it.

Joe felt on the edge of tears, the urge to sink down onto the floor and stay there forever threatened to overwhelm him.

Then, the door to his apartment burst open and there, of course, was Nicky.

They froze there a moment, staring at each other. Nicky took the scene in, the alarm, the smoke, the bloody hand. In a flash he was in the kitchen. He turned off the burner, tossed the pan in the sink, and grabbed the step ladder from where it always hid in the cupboard. He climbed to the top and stretched his long arm up to the ceiling to disable the alarm.

The sudden silence was deafening. Joe felt like crying again.

Nicky didn’t seem deterred, though. He went to the balcony door and slid it open all the way, letting out the smoke and letting in a fresh burst of air. The soft patter of rain replaced the silence and Joe exhaled.

Nicky crossed back to him. “Can I see?”

Joe held out his hand limply and Nicky examined it with his cold, assured fingers.

“You don’t need stitches,” Nicky said authoritatively. “Come on.” He circled his fingers around Joe’s wrist and gently led him through the apartment to the bathroom.

After rinsing Joe’s hand under the cold water, Nicky shut the toilet lid with a dull _thunk_ , pointed and said, “Sit.”

Joe did as he was told, eager to follow a direction that didn’t include the words slice, sautee, or julienne. He watched in a daze as Nicky rummaged through his bathroom cabinet for the first aid kit that Nile had bought him years ago when he first moved in.

Nicky opened it up on the counter and fished out some antiseptic, cotton wool, ointment and gauze. Joe watched as Nicky set up a small work station on the counter, washed his hands, and then knelt down.

Once on his knees, he reached for Joe’s hand again, which Joe was cradling against his chest.

Joe’s haze lifted. Nicky was here, in his apartment. After a month. He’d just shown up like magic, like a miracle.

“Nicky…” Joe started, his voice thick.

“This might sting a bit.” Nicky refused to meet his eyes.

Indeed, Joe hissed as Nicky ran the antiseptic along the cut.

“Sorry,” Nicky said as he threw the cotton wool into the garbage and grabbed the ointment.

He continued to work in silence, head down as he carefully swiped ointment along Joe’s palm, his touch so gentle Joe almost didn’t feel it.

Joe wanted to scream. Here was Nicky, treating him so carefully, so tenderly after Joe had clearly crossed a line. All Joe wanted to do was apologize and make it up to him but Nicky had been a ghost. And now here he was, taking care of Joe? Joe should be the one on his knees, begging forgiveness, offering a thousand open palms.

He wanted Nicky to be mad at him. He wanted Nicky to forgive him. Joe just wanted Nicky to _look_ at him.

Nicky grabbed the gauze and started wrapping, taking his time, slowing as the wound was fully covered. He held Joe’s hand in his as he leaned back on his heels and finally, _finally,_ looked up at him.

Joe’s words evaded him. Was it possible that Nicky’s eyes had gotten even more startling in the past month?

“Joe,” Nicky started. Joe could tell he was trying so hard to stay calm, keep his voice steady. “I’m so _so_ sorry.”

Joe frowned. “What?”

“I’m sorry, Joe, I-”

But Joe didn’t let him finish. “No, _I’m_ sorry. Why are _you_ sorry? _I’m_ the one who’s going to apologize.”

They paused for a moment. And then, in perfect unison, dissolved into soft laughter at the ridiculousness of the whole scene. Nicky shook his head as he exhaled small huffs. He sat down properly and leaned against the bathroom wall.

“Can I go first?” Joe asked sheepishly.

Nicky nodded.

“I am so sorry about that video Nicky. You had one limit and I crossed it and that is not okay. I was distracted and I wasn’t thinking but those aren’t excuses. I should’ve done better. I’m sorry that I violated your trust.”

Nicky stared at him, an unreadable look on his face.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, right away, or at all, but I just need you to know how much I regret what I did.” Joe’s words, the ones he’d thought about night after night, seemed to deflate in the air around them.

“Oh Joe,” Nicky said, his eyes soft and sad. “Of course I forgive you. You can’t doubt _that_.”

Joe looked at him in disbelief. “I do! I _do_ doubt that. Nicky, I fucked up in a big way and you haven’t so much as texted me in like a month.” Joe’s voice rasped, the loneliness of the past month hitting him all at once. With Nicky here in front of him, so real, so present, he couldn’t ignore just how much his absence felt like a crater in his heart. 

Nicky took a deep breath.

“My turn?” He asked. Joe nodded slowly.

“I’m sorry for being so distant,” He began. “And I’m sorry for ruining that video-"

Joe quickly interrupted. "I don't care about the video," _I care about you_ , he thought. 

Nicky smiled at him but it was small, the memory of a smile, as if Nicky hadn't smiled in weeks. He continued. "I’m sorry for putting you in that position when I knew I couldn't handle myself. It was selfish of me. And you’ve been so kind to me, too kind.”

Joe opened his mouth to speak, to refute, but he shut it again, sensing Nicky had more to say.

“I owe you an explanation.” Nicky continued. “It’s the least I owe you.”

Nicky had grown pale. His shoulders hunched up, and his eyes were distant. Joe reached out, taking Nicky’s hand in his bandaged one.

“You don’t have to,” Joe whispered.

Nicky shot him another pained smile, brushing a thumb over Joe’s knuckles. “I want to.”

Joe nodded.

“I’ve actually always loved when people played with my hair, ever since I was small,” Nicky began. “I guess my scalp is very sensitive.” He shrugged. “But, when I was eighteen, when I was really discovering who I was, I started dating an older man.” Nicky swallowed. “Married.”

Joe held his breath. It was the first time Nicky had ever talked about a past relationship. Nicky looked so incredibly raw and exposed Joe wanted to cover him up again but instead he stayed utterly silent, holding Nicky’s hand loosely.

“He… he treated me like shit to be honest,” Nicky said a bitter laugh in his throat. “But I was young and I thought it was love.” He met Joe’s eyes for a moment then glanced back down to their hands. “But he was married and he didn’t really care about me. I was just so desperate for any scrap of affection, I was so willing to ignore other’s feelings, even my own dignity. And I knew what I was doing was wrong and hurtful but every time I tried to leave …” Nicky took a deep breath.

“Every time I tried to leave, I let him reel me back. It always ended with him …” He paused again. “With him fucking me in some cheap hotel room and leaving. But the one thing he always did, the one thing I always _asked him_ to do, was pull my hair.” Nicky took a deep, shuddering breath.

The pieces started clicking into place. Joe wanted to be sick.

“It took a long time, after I finally broke it off with him, to even look at myself in the mirror again.” Nicky steadied himself. “I promised myself I would never be so careless, so desperate ever again. And I was doing fine, good even. I managed to live my life without hurting anyone, without letting anyone get close enough to hurt me. And then I met you.”

Nicky brought his other hand up and Joe immediately reached for it. It was freezing, as if all the blood in Nicky’s body had gone directly to his heart. Joe brought Nicky’s palm to his face, which was hot with new understanding.

Nicky let out a choked noise as he looked at Joe, his eyes burning.

“I met you and for some reason you offered me all this attention and affection and it was…” Nicky looked around as if the words would materialize in front of him. “It was like the sun had emerged from the clouds.”

Nicky’s thumb stroked along Joe’s cheekbone, so softly, as if Joe was made of glass.

“I'd been alone so long and you were just so ... And I thought, as long as I had some barrier, some rules, I could hide that side of me. As long as you didn’t see the desperate, needy monster I am, it would be okay.” Nicky said, his voice tight, his chin trembling. 

Joe clamped his mouth shut, the muscle in his jaw jumping wildly under Nicky’s fingers. He so wanted to interrupt but he knew Nicky needed Joe to see him in this moment and Joe would never deny him that.

“But as usual, I fucked everything up. I let myself get more and more attached to you. I thought I could keep what we had going without ever having to reveal what I am to you. But it didn’t work. And then I avoided you because I was too much of a coward to deal with it. I was afraid if you realized how much I was willing to debase myself for the merest crumb of affection you wouldn’t be able to look at me anymore, let alone touch me,” Nicky exhaled shakily.

Joe noticed then that Nicky was trembling all over, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Joe readjusted himself so he was kneeling between Nicky’s knees on the floor. He dropped Nicky’s hands and took hold of his shoulders firmly.

“It’s okay to want things, Nicky. Fuck that guy for making you feel like you don’t deserve love or affection,” Joe said, trying to maintain some semblance of calm in his voice. “And fuck him for using your body against you.”

Joe’s hands travelled up to Nicky’s neck and he let out a muffled sob, his face contorting painfully.

“You are so worthy, Nicky. From the moment I met you I wanted to be closer to you.” Joe found he was whispering now, close to Nicky’s ear. “You are so important to me.”

And then Nicky was crying, great big tears tracking their way down his face. The sobs seemed to be wrenched from somewhere deep in his body and all Joe could do was hold him, rub his back. Nicky clutched onto him like he was driftwood in an ocean, the only hope for salvation.

Joe held him back tightly. He wanted to shush him, soothe him, but he sensed that Nicky needed this, he needed someone to listen to his pain.

Joe could do that, he thought, he would let Nicky cry forever if he needed to.

After what seemed like forever, Nicky looked up at Joe, his eyes bright, the green-blue contrasted with the now bright red rims. “Why are you so good to me?” He asked, his voice so small it made Joe’s chest ache.

“Because you deserve it,” Joe answered instantly. “Because I care about you.”

Nicky’s chin trembled, his eyebrows knitted together. He looked away from Joe as if it was painful for him just to see the adoration there. He wept, silently this time, and Joe leaned in to wipe the tears away. He followed each brush of his thumb with his lips, placing reverent, chaste kisses on each of Nicky’s tear-stained cheeks.

Nicky looked up at him, a question in his eyes.

Joe smiled tenderly down, an answer on his lips.

Nicky surged up to kiss Joe, soft and wet. And Joe reciprocated gently, holding Nicky's chin carefully. They stayed there for a moment, then Nicky leaned back. A shy smile reflected in each of their faces. Joe ran his hands up and down Nicky’s arms, soothing any nervousness that buzzed through him.

After Nicky's breathing evened out, Joe got up and grabbed him a glass of cool water from the sink. Nicky drank it down gratefully.

“I should…” Nicky said finally, moving to get up. Joe followed, grabbing Nicky's hand loosely with his injured one. 

They stood there for a moment. Joe brought his other hand up to Nicky’s wet face. He traced the dark circles there. Nicky looked so tired.

“I haven’t been sleeping well,” Nicky murmured. 

“Stay,” Joe said quietly, squeezing his hand as if in invitation.

They drifted through the apartment to the bedroom. The rain was still tapping lightly against the window as Joe looked around. _Not too messy_ , he thought with relief. Some clothes were scattered about the floor and there was a precarious pile of books on his nightstand but other than that it was fit for a guest. His bed, soft olive linen sheets, a fluffy down duvet, looked incredibly inviting.

“Is that my sweater?” Nicky suddenly asked.

There it was, balled up by Joe’s pillow.

Joe thought about lying. He thought about flinging it into the corner and asking, _What sweater? I don’t see a sweater._ But he was tired. He was tired of hiding and after Nicky had let himself be seen so raw, so thoroughly exposed, it felt only fair.

He looked at Nicky meaningfully. “Yes.”

Nicky smiled but Joe could see his eyes were becoming misty again.

“Bedtime, come on.” Joe got them each some sweatpants and soft old t-shirts. He turned away as Nicky changed, oddly nervous and shy all of the sudden. Joe jumped quickly into the bed and fluffed up the pillows, mushed around the duvet. Nicky followed.

Joe settled quickly while Nicky fidgeted a bit, trying to get comfortable. Finally Joe gently turned him on his side and looped his arms around his middle. Nicky exhaled and rested an arm atop Joe’s.

“You know,” Nicky whispered, so quiet that Joe might’ve missed it. “Every night, I put on your videos but I just …” Joe could sense a confession coming, the type of honesty that only comes in total darkness, in a shared bed with your eyes shut, when the whole world is asleep. “I would just skip to the end and I would play it over and over again.”

Joe smiled, his heart beating forcefully in his chest as he pulled Nicky closer to him. His lips brushed Nicky’s ear and Nicky shivered.

“Sweet dreams, Nicky. I’ll take care of you. I love you.” Joe whispered, over and over and over again until Nicky was asleep in his arms.

* * *

When Joe awoke he was sure it was still nighttime. Yesterday’s rain still pattered against the window, and his room was blanketed with a soft grey light. And in his arms was a solid, heavy weight. Nicky, his heart. He pulled himself closer, resting his nose along Nicky’s neck. He inhaled softly. And there it was, Nicky’s distinctive smell but deeper, he smelled sweetly of earth, of smoke, and Joe realized with a throb of his heart, of Joe.

Joe nuzzled in deeper, as if he could bury himself in Nicky.

“Mmm,” Nicky hummed. He pulled Joe’s arm tighter across his middle and nestled back into him.

“Do you have anywhere to be this morning?” Joe asked.

Nicky shook his head, “Just here. With you.”

Joe's chest ached with relief. He squeezed Nicky tighter and Nicky burrowed backward even closer. It was only then, as the long line of Nicky’s body pressed against him, that Joe realized he was achingly hard.

“Sorry,” he murmured as he awkwardly disentangled their bodies.

“No more apologies,” Nicky said, turning around to face him. His eyes were heavy, full of something Joe hadn’t seen before.

“Are you sure?” Joe asked. "There’s no rush. This can wait.” _I would wait for you for a thousand years,_ he thought, _I would wait for you forever._

Nicky shook his head. “No more waiting.”

He brought a hand up to Joe’s face and pulled him into a kiss. A morning kiss, full of the stale taste of sleep, but Joe didn’t care. Nicky’s mouth parted and Joe explored him with his tongue. He felt drunk, the way Nicky’s body started to move against him, the breathy noises coming out of his mouth.

Nicky inhaled sharply as Joe’s knee slotted between Nicky’s, brushing against his cock with the slightest pressure.

“Okay?” Joe asked, pulling back, holding Nicky’s face in his hands.

Nicky nodded quickly.

Joe turned Nicky’s head to the side and started planting light, gentle kisses down the long column of his neck. He watched in awe as Nicky’s body reacted to him. He shook and arched and let out the smallest of breathy moans, for one delirious moment Joe wished he had his sound equipment with him. He licked a stripe back up Nicky’s neck, nipping at his earlobe.

Joe then inhaled sharply as Nicky’s cold hands found their way under his soft t-shirt. Nicky traced the divots of his hips, trailed his fingers up across Joe’s stomach and up to his chest, where his hands were fighting with the fabric. 

“Off?” Nicky asked.

Joe was up and flinging his shirt off before Nicky could even finish his request. It ricocheted off a lamp which went crashing to the ground.

Nicky smiled that gentle, lopsided smile of his, a bubbling of laughter threatening to escape.

Joe smiled back at him and felt a rush of affection so strong he felt lightheaded. Nicky was here, in his bed. Nicky was here, smiling, in his bed. For a moment, Joe thought it must be a dream, there was no way he was this lucky.

“Come here,” Nicky said softly, dragging him back down.

Joe found himself on his back, legs splayed open, as the solid heavy weight of Nicky rested on top of him. Nicky kissed his eyebrows, his eyes, his nose, each corner of his lips, all the small hidden spots of Joe as if he was charting a topographical map, as if every spot of Joe was special and worthy.

Joe ran his fingers up and down Nicky’s back and arms. He watched as the goosebumps rushed across his skin. He listened as Nicky exhaled loudly in his ear. He wanted Nicky’s shirt off too, he wanted to see that broad expanse of him again.

As if reading his mind, Nicky sat back for a moment and slowly took off his own shirt. He gave Joe a shy smile, as if this were the first time Joe was really seeing him.

Joe sat up quickly to cover him in his arms. “You are so beautiful.”

Nicky smiled and ran his fingers through Joe’s beard. “When you say it like that I almost believe it.”

Joe closed his eyes and nuzzled into Nicky’s neck. “I will tell you every day for the rest of time until you do.”

Joe hugged Nicky tighter and shifted them so Nicky was now lying on his back. Joe, above him, began the excruciatingly slow and lovely work of undoing him.

He kissed his shoulders, his neck, his collarbones, he took each nipple in his mouth, rolling and sucking and nipping until they were rock hard. He traced _I love you_ again and again across his ribs. And again and again Joe returned to kiss Nicky’s lips, to pour and drink every drop of affection there.

Below him, Nicky was lost in sensation. His body shivering with each touch, his throat straining to keep down the mewling and keening that was starting to escape.

“Okay?” Joe asked, checking in again. He had settled himself to Nicky’s side and his uninjured palm was resting with heavy even pressure on Nicky’s lower abdomen, where a light trail of hair disappeared below Nicky’s sweatpants.

Nicky nodded, unable to form a coherent word as Joe’s hand dipped below the hem of his underwear and started to palm against Nicky’s already leaking cock.

“ _Oh_ ,” Nicky whispered, his hips jutting against Joe. Joe released Nicky for a moment, brought his hand to his lips and spit forcefully. Nicky let out a breathy moan, full of want.

Joe nudged down Nicky's sweatpants and returned to stroking him in earnest, paying careful attention to when a slight angle of the wrist or change in pace caused Nicky to inhale or moan. The soft noises he let out became louder, more urgent as Joe sped up. He could feel Nicky shaking and shuddering beneath him. It wouldn’t be long now.

“Joe, I’m going to…” Nicky said frantically, his hips stuttering and knees drawing up, Joe holding him and stroking him through it. Joe could see tears beading at the corners of his eyes.

“Go on, I’ve got you,” Joe whispered right into his ear.

And Nicky came with a shout. Joe’s hand was sopping with his release as it pulsed out, hot and fluid, over his fist, painting across Nicky’s belly.

Nicky’s eyes were screwed shut and his chest was heaving. Joe’s breath matched his.

“Holy shit,” Nicky breathed, finally opening his eyes to find Joe bringing his hand back up to his mouth, licking it clean, tasting the salty earthiness of Nicky. 

“Good?” Joe smiled, he allowed himself to indulge in a moment of smugness.

If Joe thought he’d seen Nicky relaxed before, this was a whole new level. His eyes were soft, there didn’t seem to be an ounce of tension left in his body. Joe leaned against him and kissed him hard.

Nicky smiled as much as his now-lazy mouth would allow. He looked down to where Joe’s erection was pressed up against his hip.

Nicky lifted his hand but Joe stopped him, entwining their fingers.

“Rest, my heart.”

He pulled down his sweatpants and positioned himself so that his cock was trapped between their stomachs. Nicky’s come eased the way as Joe started rolling his hips slowly against Nicky, chasing the friction there. He cupped Nicky’s jaw and Nicky placed his hand over his.

Nicky stared up at him with such naked affection that Joe wondered if it was possible to pass out from being loved too deeply.

Nicky was leaning into his touch, kissing Joe’s palm like it was holy. And then, slowly, he lifted Joe’s hand up, rested it on top of his hair.

Joe froze, his cock twitched at the sudden stop in motion.

“Are you sure?” Joe asked, his fingers completely still. The last thing he wanted to do was confuse Nicky, make him regret a single moment of this, cross another line.

“I…” Nicky paused, he held Joe’s wrist as if it were an anchor. “I want it.” His voice was low and suddenly serious. “I trust you.”

Joe nodded and slowly, carefully, threaded his fingers through the soft hair. Nicky closed his eyes and moaned so deeply Joe could feel it reverberate through his chest, through his abdomen, right against Joe’s cock which was messy and leaking and desperate.

Nicky looked up at him and shot him another lop-sided grin.

“Go on,” Nicky urged, tilting up his pelvis a few times to nudge Joe back into motion.

Joe groaned and started fucking into the space between them in earnest. His hand curling and petting through Nicky’s hair with abandon. Nicky let out low hungry moans which Joe leaned down and captured with his mouth.

“ _F-f-uck_ ,” Joe stuttered and gasped as his rhythm became erratic, the pressure building, the drag on his cock on the verge of too much.

Nicky looked up at him, face full of bliss. “ _Ti amo, ti amo, ti amo,_ ” he whispered over and over again as Joe’s orgasm crashed over him. His hips pushed forcefully once, twice more as his come spread hot and sticky between them.

Neither of them moved for what seemed like forever. They simply stared at each other in loving disbelief. Joe ran his fingers tenderly, reverently though Nicky's hair and Nicky sighed feeling safe, feeling home. 

Eventually, reality kicked in, and Joe cleaned them up with a stray t-shirt and Nicky got up to make them coffee. Joe followed and nearly bumped into Nicky who was frozen in the doorway, surveying the damage from the night before.

“What were you even doing in here?” Nicky asked with a smile as started to move through the kitchen, avoiding the mess as he filled up the coffee pot.

“I was making a grand gesture,” Joe said, unsure of even how to pronounce the dish that now seemed like a distant memory.

“So much for that,” Nicky chuckled as he picked a few pieces of charred vegetable matter off the stove.

Joe sidled up behind Nicky, looping his arms around his middle and tucking his head against his neck. “I think it worked out just fine.”

Nicky hummed and leaned back into him. He craned his neck and placed a soft kiss on Joe’s temple.

Joe wondered idly, as they swayed and watched the coffee percolate, if Booker and Nile had put a bet down. He wondered how insufferable Booker would be now that he’d won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Communication? We love to see it! 
> 
> Sorry if this was way too long, it was originally 3 parts but I felt like we all probably needed all of the soft reconciliation today. I hope you are all staying safe and thank you as always for your support! Your comments are really getting me through it <3 <3 <3 
> 
> A preview for what's next: Nicky and Joe make another video with Joe in the hot seat! And they celebrate Joe's new subscriber milestone (in very cozy and sexy ways).


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe's in the hot seat as he and Nicky record a video for a subscriber milestone, and they continue to work on boundaries (this time with 110% added communication).

The days grew shorter and the skies were more often grey than blue, but Joe found his life suddenly filled with so much warmth, he couldn’t believe that winter had well and truly come. 

As snow started to blanket the city, as strings of twinkling lights appeared and everyone seemed to agree to turn in for the winter, Joe and Nicky nestled deeper into each other. 

They spent their days much like before, curled up on the couch, each absorbed in their work, Nicky making them lunch, dinner, filming together in the evening. But now, when Nicky’s eyes were tired, he would lay his head down in Joe’s lap, nudging him until he played lazily with his hair. Now, when they finished filming, Nicky would drag Joe to bed, kiss every inch of him until they were both taut and stupid with want. Now, when they woke early in the morning, Nicky tucked tightly into Joe, they would lose hours adoring each other. 

Joe thought he’d really known Nicky before, been well-versed in his intricacies, but as they grew closer with each day, a whole new dimension revealed itself. And Joe was nothing if not an enthusiastic cataloguer. 

Each new piece of information was a treasure. The way Nicky snuffled in his sleep, always nestling back into the warmth of Joe. The way he cracked his back first thing every morning, a long stretch and moan and a loud  _ pop-pop-pop _ like ice cracking quickly under water. The way his face lit up when, after a long day of lectures or meetings, Joe greeted him at the door with a kiss and a mug of warm tea or a glass of cold wine, like he was being offered the whole world on a platter. 

And Joe would never stop telling him. Now the floodgates had opened, it was like Joe couldn’t be quiet about his love for this man if he tried. Sometimes Nicky reacted with a shy grin, a gasping moan, a deep red flush, a roll of the eyes, an audible groan.  _ Incurable romantic,  _ he would smile. Joe savoured each new reaction, always going back for more.

But not tonight. 

He’d been unusually quiet all day, his thoughts tied up in anxious knots. He was nervous,  _ how could he be nervous? _ _He appeared on camera every week._ And yet, Joe felt his heartbeat racing, his throat getting suddenly dry as he finished adjusting the camera.

With Nile’s idea for his subscriber milestone special, Joe felt like he was making a video for the first time again. 

He sat down, glanced at the monitor, and got back up to minutely adjust the lighting. 

“You’re stalling,” Nicky said with a grin. 

“I am  _ not _ stalling,” Joe said, but he couldn’t suppress a grin of his own. Of course he was stalling. It wasn’t everyday that he performed like this for the camera. 

Nicky walked slowly up to him and grabbed his wrist, bringing it up to his lips and pressing it there, as if taking Joe’s pulse. 

“I’m nervous,” Joe admitted. 

“Do you trust me?” Nicky asked, a hint of seriousness under his teasing tone. 

“With all my heart,” Joe whispered. 

Nicky looked at him a moment, as if, for the thousandth time, disbelieving that Joe was real, that they had found each other. 

“Then sit down and let me worship you.” 

Joe didn’t need to be told again. He sat down on the chair and Nicky maneuvered his way behind him. Nicky ensured the cameras were recording and then nudged Joe to begin. 

“Good evening everyone,” Joe said in his trademark whisper. “Today I wanted to do something a little special for you all. I can’t believe we’ve hit so many subscribers in the past few months…” As Joe continued, he thought it really was remarkable. 

Of course, having Nicky back as a constant in his videos didn’t hurt. His followers just seemed to connect to the care and attention between them, and Joe wasn’t going to complain. 

His personal favourite video had been when Nicky was laid out, reading a book, all blurry in the background of the shot, as the camera focussed on Joe’s hands working on his portrait. The microphone caught the sound of the charcoal scratching lightly across the paper and the occasional loving small talk between the two of them. 

“ _ Si _ , and we want to thank Nile for her excellent suggestion for today’s video,” Nicky whispered. “Now, it’s Joe’s turn to be quiet.” 

Joe took a deep breath, in and out, and smiled as Nicky’s hands found his shoulders. Joe had become so accustomed to his touch that it felt like coming home. Nicky stroked up and down, from his ears, along his neck, across his collarbones, to the tips of his shoulders, drawing little circles there. Joe sighed contentedly. 

He could see Nicky’s lopsided grin in the monitor. 

“This is Joe’s first time being a model,” Nicky whispered slowly, carefully enunciating each word. He kept trailing his fingers up and down. “I think he’s a little nervous. So we’re going to do everything we can to make him more…” 

With one deep motion of his thumbs, he burrowed into the tense muscles connecting Joe’s neck to his shoulders. Joe groaned.

“Comfortable.” Nicky finished, repeating the motion. “And shhh, Joe, please, people are trying to fall asleep here.” 

Joe rolled his eyes but he was grinning ear to ear as Nicky massaged his shoulders, deep into the tissue, just the way Joe liked it. 

“Now,” Nicky continued. “As most of you know, Joe is also an amazing visual artist.” Nicky brought his hands up, turning Joe slightly to the side so he could stare into his eyes. Nicky traced his fingers along Joe’s brow. Joe stared lovingly back up at him. 

“So I thought, for today’s video, because we’re all celebrating Joe, we could take the pressure off those big brown eyes, for a bit.” Nicky kept one hand on Joe and with the other reached behind into his Mysterious Tote Bag, which he hadn’t let Joe look into. 

All he’d told him was that he had a special idea for the video, a surprise, that Joe was totally able to veto the moment it was made clear, but seemed to excite Nicky beyond measure. Which, in turn, of course, excited Joe. 

Joe inhaled sharply as he watched a smooth piece of dark silk emerge from the bag. Nicky held it up to the camera and slowly whispered that it was a vintage scarf that he never thought he’d find a use for. 

He turned to Joe. 

“So now, I’m going to wrap this around Joe’s head, so that he can rest his eyes for a bit,” Nicky said. His voice was even but Joe could see the subtle signs of nervousness, the pulse jumping in his throat, his eyes blown wide, his lower lip caught between his teeth. 

“Sounds great,” Joe whispered. 

Nicky smiled at him with relief and went about securing the dark silk around Joe’s head. With one final tug, he declared it was finished and paused again. His hands left Joe’s body and for a moment Joe felt a twinge of panic. He couldn’t see Nicky, he couldn’t hear him, he felt lost, disoriented.  _ Was this a bad idea?  _ Joe thought frantically.

“ _ Sono qui _ ,” A warm, soothing whisper floated over his right ear as cool fingers started making soft circles on his neck. Joe felt a shiver race down his spine. 

Nicky’s hands wandered up to his beard, one finger stroking the soft spot beneath his chin, a favourite of his, while the others scratched and teased through the soft hair there. Joe’s face relaxed as Nicky started running his fingers along his cheekbones, over his eyebrows. 

His fingertips reverently mapped out all of Joe’s face, the soft dip under his bottom lip, the small curve in the shell of his ear, each tiny freckle on the bridge of his nose. 

Joe felt both utterly laid bare and yet completely safe. He was so willing to give up control that it scared him a bit. He could only imagine how Nicky felt all those months ago. 

Nicky’s hands moved up to Joe’s hair and Joe smiled. Nicky loved playing with his hair, and Joe loved to let him. Nicky could spend hours testing out the curls and smoothing his fingers along the soft scalp underneath. 

Joe leaned into Nicky’s palm and searched around blindly with his nose until it met Nicky’s wrist. He nuzzled there quickly to show his appreciation. 

They continued for a while with slow, lazy caresses until Joe was completely loose. 

Nicky removed his hands and Joe couldn’t help but pout. 

“ _ Alora _ , okay, now to the main event. Let’s see if Joe can guess what I’m holding.” Joe heard Nicky rummage around behind him and suddenly he heard a soft, plastic tapping next to his right ear. Joe focused on the sound. He heard the tinny, click-y noise of a button being pressed and instantly he knew. 

“Your remote?” He asked. 

“ _ Si _ ,” Nicky answered. Joe smiled. When they first met, Nicky was constantly having issues connecting his remote and Joe would happily help him figure it out. Later, Nicky confessed to purposely disconnecting it, just to have an excuse to see Joe again. 

The next sound was a soft whooshing, and a tinkling, glass-like tap from Nicky’s fingernails. Joe listened and found himself lulled by the noise. He knew he had to guess but he spent some time just enjoying the gentle waves of sound. 

“Wine bottle,” he whispered after a few minutes. 

“Joe is very good at this game,” Nicky announced to the camera. 

They continued to play, Nicky pulling out object after object, each one making a soft and soothing noise that let Joe relax. Joe could tell that Nicky had spent a lot of time painstakingly choosing objects. Not just those that sounded good on camera, but the simple, everyday objects that had some deeper meaning between them. The remote, the bottle, Nicky’s favourite mug (an ugly misshapen thing that Joe made in art school, which he’d only seen the beauty of once it had touched Nicky’s lips), the small porcelain dish for watercolours that Nicky had bought him after commissioning a portrait, the tortoise shell hairbrush that Joe now lovingly used to comb through Nicky’s hair. 

“Okay, last object,” Nicky whispered. 

Joe heard something crinkle. It was a lovely sound but he couldn’t quite place it. The dry, crispy rustling was everything Nicky knew Joe liked. As Nicky slowly toyed with the object, Joe felt a tingling sensation slowly spread across his skull. He leaned his head back into the feeling. 

He bumped into the solid wall of Nicky standing behind him. Joe’s head bounced slightly as Nicky huffed out a soft laugh, glad to see Joe enjoying his experience so immensely. 

And Joe thought,  _ this is it, this is all I need. A happy stomach upon which to rest my head for the rest of eternity.  _

“Any guesses?” Nicky whispered as he continued to crinkle the mystery object. 

Joe shook his head. 

“Well, everyone, it looks like we’ve finally stumped the expert.” Joe could hear a smile in Nicky’s voice. 

“I concede,” Joe whispered. He felt Nicky’s hands return to his neck, tracing small patterns there. 

“Well then, from me and Joe, we love you, you deserve peace and rest. Take care and  _ sogni d’oro _ .”

And with that, Nicky untied the scarf and Joe blinked a few times adjusting to the low lighting in the room quickly. Nicky was in front of him now. He brushed a hand across Joe’s forehead and dropped a quick kiss at the corner of his eyebrow. 

“Okay?” He asked. 

“More than okay.” 

They gazed at each other for a moment. They were always like this after a video, quiet, soft with each other. Joe reached his arms up and clasped them around Nicky’s neck, dragging him down so he could nestle there. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. 

“My pleasure,” Nicky smiled, kissing into Joe’s curls. 

“What was the last object by the way?” Joe asked later, as they were tidying up the filming room. 

Nicky paused for a moment and then reached into his bag, pulling out a small packet of gauze in its crinkly paper packaging. 

Joe huffed out a breath.  _ Of course _ , he thought. Trust Nicky to make something so pedestrian so fraught with meaning. Pain, healing, the act of showing someone your wounds and trusting them to help you heal. Joe’s heart clenched. 

He surged at Nicky and wrapped his arms around him, like he would never let him go. 

“It’s just gauze,” Nicky whispered. 

“No, it isn’t,” Joe whispered back, his voice thick. 

“No,” Nicky agreed. “It isn’t.” 

They settled on the couch that night, Nicky spread out widely and Joe on top of him, nestled between his legs, his head on his chest, rising and falling with every breath, every heartbeat. Nicky played with Joe’s hair and they pretended to watch some terrible 80s action movie but they were each too tired and relaxed to care much. 

Joe, for his part, took the opportunity to wax poetic about the gorgeous man underneath him. Nicky rolled his eyes. 

“Come here,” He said, shutting Joe up with a soft but thoroughly filthy kiss. Joe hummed happily as Nicky took him apart with his tongue. 

Joe pulled away for air and for a chance to continue his rhapsodizing. “I’m just saying that if they had cast _ you  _ as the hot priest I would also be forced into blasphemy, I couldn’t help it. I would willingly crawl to hell on my bare knees just to rest at your feet, is that so controversial?” 

They had finished the second season of Fleabag a few days before and Joe couldn’t stop thinking about the mysterious religious corners of Nicky. 

“You want to be on your knees?” Nicky asked, his voice suddenly low. His tongue darting across his lower lip. 

“Willingly,” Joe rasped. 

A flurry of clothing and kisses later and Joe found himself kneeling in front of Nicky. Nicky’s top was tossed somewhere distant and his pants were rucked down to his ankles. Joe had to stop and just take in the man in front of him. 

“Well?” Nicky asked with a raised eyebrow. A challenge. 

Joe was nothing if not game. 

He licked a stripe up Nicky’s calf pausing at the tender pocket of skin behind his knee. He sucked a loud kiss there and Nicky wriggled. Joe smirked. He knew it was a sensitive spot for Nicky and he continued teasing his tongue around the soft flesh, the hard tendon. 

He worked his way up Nicky’s thighs, planting each kiss as if it were holy ground. 

When he reached Nicky’s groin he bypassed it completely, earning him a small whine. Instead, he focussed on the soft skin above, nosing the hair that led up to his belly button. He kissed the softness there and thrilled as he saw Nicky’s stomach quiver at his touch. 

“Beautiful,” Joe whispered, as he worked his way down, his hot breath ghosting over Nicky’s thickening cock, pink and glistening. 

Nicky reached down to cup Joe’s cheek. “Beautiful,” He echoed. 

Joe kissed his palm and then took Nicky into his mouth, swallowing carefully as saliva pooled in the back of his throat. Salt, fullness, and the deep scent of Nicky overwhelmed him as he started to move his head. 

Nicky’s breath got heavy, gasping. He thrust his hand through Joe’s curls, regulating his pace, chasing his pleasure. 

Joe’s hands moved of their own accord, caressing Nicky’s hips, his thighs, his knees. He rested one hand on Nicky’s stomach and with the other he reached below his pleasantly aching jaw, fondling Nicky and, with a thumb, he tested the puckered skin there. 

Suddenly Nicky’s whole body tensed, his breath became all inhale. 

Joe stopped instantly, pulled off carefully, wiping the trail of spit and slick from his mouth. 

“Nicky?” He asked softly, a hand on his knee. 

Nicky was inhaling quickly, his brow was furrowed, he grabbed Joe’s hand on his knee and squeezed. 

“Hey,” Joe said, kissing his fingertips chastely. “Breathe.” 

Nicky nodded, squeezed his hand again and breathed in and out slowly, shakily. 

“Sorry,” He said, when he had finally caught his breath again. 

Joe shook his head, running his fingers in a soothing motion up and down Nicky’s calf. “So no to that then?” He asked. 

Nicky swallowed and shook his head, as if he was confused. “Not no, not at all, it feels good, I just....” He stammered. “I think this position, it’s bringing back some weird memories.” 

Joe nodded, he didn’t need Nicky to tell him what about. In the quiet hours before dawn, in their bed, Nicky had started to share with Joe more about his past, about the hurt there. And Joe listened and held him and told him over and over how he deserved more. And Nicky listened and the more he shared, the more he woke up with those arms still wrapped tightly around him, even after having seen him, thoroughly seen him, he started to believe it. 

“I think I just wasn’t expecting it,” Nicky said slowly. “I know we’re over apologies, but I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.” 

“Okay, well if we’re getting a free pass for apologies, then I’m sorry for not asking you first, for rushing this. Again.” Joe leaned his cheek against Nicky’s thigh as Nicky ran his fingers through Joe’s curls. 

“Aren’t we a pair?” Nicky smiled down fondly at him. 

Joe lightly kissed his thigh, his hip, his abdomen, his chest, his neck, his jaw, his lips. Nicky arched up into him. Each kiss a renewed vow,  _ I won’t hurt you, I love you. _

Their kisses became slow, aching. Joe luxuriated in the trust that Nicky kept putting in him, time and time again, and Nicky was comforted by the tenderness with which Joe held him, each brush of his fingers reminding him that he was loved. 

They broke apart for a moment and Nicky glanced down hesitantly to his cock which was now flushed and straining. “Try again?” Nicky asked apprehensively. 

Joe looked up at him, unsure. 

“What, not sexy enough?” Nicky said, a small grin on his face. “Alright,” he sat up straighter, curled up his hand, his index and middle finger extended. He then lightly touched Joe’s forehead, his chest, each of his shoulders. “For the sin of being endlessly patient with me and devastatingly handsome, I sentence you to fucking me with your fingers while you suck me off.” 

Joe nearly choked on both his laughter and the sudden arousal that pooled in his belly. Nicky reached down for Joe’s dominant hand and brought it up to his mouth.  He parted his lips, slicked his tongue across them and slipped in two of Joe’s fingers, enclosing them in wet, dark heat. 

Joe couldn’t help but moan. 

He brought his now slick fingers down to Nicky's hole, pushing carefully there until Nicky took him in with a few breathy gasps.  After a few tentative touches, they quickly fell into a rhythm. Joe’s fingers curling in and out of Nicky, brushing against the bundle of nerves which made Nicky’s whole body shake. His tongue swirled, wet and messy, around the head of Nicky’s cock, punctuated by Nicky’s high needy moans. 

Suddenly with a hiss Nicky’s pulled Joe’s head away quickly. 

“Okay?” Joe asked, worry again contorting his features. 

Nicky nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence beyond, “Bedroom.” Joe grinned.

They stumbled through the apartment, shedding clothes, tripping over them and each other and tumbled into Joe’s bed. Lube, a condom or two (the first one ripping with an exasperated growl from Joe and a small giggle from Nicky), and Joe was slipping past the tight ring of muscle into the slick heat of Nicky. 

Nicky came quickly, already so close from Joe’s mouth and his fingers and Joe didn’t last long after that. Nicky whispered something filthy about blindfolds and Joe was lost, his whole body tensing and his cock pulsing forcefully into Nicky. 

“I think we have to watch Grantchester next,” Nicky whispered with a smile as Joe curled around him later, resting his head on Nicky’s chest. Nicky looped his arm across Joe’s shoulders. 

“Whatever you want, my love,” Joe said with a yawn. His body was sated and eyes were heavy and soon he was asleep.

Nicky adjusted himself slightly so he was at a more comfortable angle for Joe’s neck. He stared out the window as the snow fell in thick, slow flakes, illuminated by the soft yellow light of the street lamps. Nicky focused on the weight of Joe’s head on his chest, his arms wrapped loosely around him, his gentle puffs of breath. He wasn’t sure if he should laugh or cry, his heart was so full. 

_To love someone and for them to love you back, what could possibly be more holy than that? And who better to love,_ Nicky thought, as he carefully brushed a curl from Joe’s forehead, _than the artist who brought so much joy and peace and light to the world around him, whose patience was endless, whose love was forgiving._ _Who could be more worthy?_

And with a rush Nicky thought,  _ and he loves me because I'm worthy. I must be worthy. I am worthy of his love.  _

Nicky wiped a stray tear away and closed his eyes, nestling into Joe’s curls and resting there as the snow fell around them and the world became blissfully quiet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even more communication? Worshipping Joe? Mildly blasphemous love making? That's what we're all about! 
> 
> In the next (and probably final!) chapter, the gang gets together to celebrate. And of course, more softness and coziness for all! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading and leaving these absolutely lovely comments -- they are so reaffirming when the world is *gestures vaguely at a garbage fire* <3 <3 <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Nicky throw a cozy dinner party for the gang to celebrate, and later Joe asks a Very Big Question.

Quynh kept sending Joe her favourite comments. Joe, of course, moderated them on his own but he got a kick every time he opened a text from her and it was just a screenshot of the more ridiculous ones. Their subscriber milestone video had been a treasure trove: 

_Oh noooo, I sure hope this doesn’t … awaken anything in me …_

_Me, explaining ASMR: It’s actually a really wholesome genre, I watch it to relax._

_Nicky pulls out the blindfold: ….._

_Me: …… um chile so anyway..._

_Alright hear me out people, Joe said “your” remote, implying that the roommate-lover theory is no longer valid UNLESS! Nicky has a tv in his bedroom? I think it’s still plausible? Someone hand me some more red string...._

_Joe in a blindfold?? I am sorry but I am looking DISRESPECTFULLY_

In the morning’s text, Quynh simply wrote: _Can’t wait for tonight!_ She added an attached screenshot of a comment that just read: 

_Boyfriends! Boyfriends! Boyfriends!_

Joe scoffed. _Boyfriends_ , he thought ruefully. _Like comparing the sun to a candle...hmph...boyfriends._

The word continued to bug him as he rolled out of bed and joined Nicky who was already in the kitchen, showered, dressed, and rolling out dough. They had slept at Nicky’s so that Nicky could get up early and start cooking.

“Morning,” Joe kissed Nicky’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his middle. 

“Good morning,” Nicky smiled and continued rolling, nodding his head towards the coffee pot which was warm and fragrant. 

“Freaking out already?” Joe asked. 

“Me? Freak out? Never,” Nicky shrugged, but they both knew he’d been tossing and turning all night, going over recipes in his head. 

Joe would have told him to cancel, that nothing was worth a single frown on his lovely face, but it was Nicky’s idea in the first place. He’d decided that he wanted to throw a small gathering to celebrate Joe’s subscriber milestone. Joe objected but eventually warmed to the idea of their friends, their family, gathering and celebrating. 

It was Nicky who insisted on the lavish menu. 

Joe poured himself a coffee and leaned against the counter. He watched Nicky work the dough, tension rippling through his forearms which were covered in flour. Joe’s mouth went suddenly dry. 

He reached out and rested a hand on the curve of Nicky’s lower back, tucking his fingers into the waistband of his jeans. 

“Enjoying the show?” Nicky asked with raised eyebrows and a smirk. 

Joe nodded, his eyes suddenly full of want. He rubbed the warm skin there, matching his pace to Nicky’s.

Nicky stopped his kneading for a moment. He took Joe’s wrist gingerly, trying to avoid getting flour all over him. He brought it up to his mouth and kissed Joe’s palm. 

“Now is not the time for shenanigans,” He kissed it again as Joe pouted. “Shenanigans later.” 

And Joe smiled. 

“But now, coffee, shower, and you have to go get the sage, the flowers, the apple cider vinegar, and also maybe an extra bottle of champagne, I’m nervous we’ll run out.”

* * *

Later, as Joe ventured back from his fourth errand-run ( _Joe! We don’t have enough pistachios for garnish!_ ), he found himself smiling stupidly holding a bag of ridiculously overpriced organic nuts. 

He passed through the snowy streets twinkling with light, and everything just seemed to sparkle. It had been snowing all day with no signs of slowing. Joe could barely see over the giant fuzzy scarf Nicky had wrapped around his neck as he sent him on his way, but still, he was grinning, smiling at the similarly bundled people who passed him by. 

He thought of the poem Nicky had shared with him the night before, as they lay in bed. Nicky was reading from a book of poetry, and Joe was scrolling mindlessly on his phone. 

“Listen Joe,” Nicky said quietly, and Joe was immediately all ears. He rested his phone on his chest and closed his eyes. Nicky read softly:

> _“Tell me you love me,” he says._
> 
> _“Tell me again.”_
> 
> _Could there be a sweeter arrangement? Over and over_
> 
> _he gets to ask._
> 
> _I get to tell._

Joe opened his eyes and smiled at Nicky. 

“Mary Oliver,” Nicky answered, already knowing Joe’s question. 

“Mary must have one lucky man,” Joe said, tossing his phone aside and taking the book from Nicky’s hands, placing it on the side table. “Or woman,” he added. 

“It’s about a dog,” Nicky laughed as Joe nudged his legs open and draped himself over Nicky. 

“Lucky dog,” Joe said, leaning in to capture Nicky’s mouth. 

Joe kissed him soundly, until his lips were full and pink, his cheeks flushed with colour, and his pupils wide and dark. 

“Tell me you love me,” Nicky whispered, “tell me again.” 

And Joe did, in every language he knew. In English and Italian and French and Dutch and Arabic, in whispers and moans and sighs, in kisses and touches, in charcoal and watercolour and ink, in poetry and food, in a bag of organic shelled pistachios in a blizzard. 

_Could there be a sweeter arrangement?_ Joe thought as he opened the door to Nicky’s apartment and the warmth of food and home flooded through him. 

“My hero!” Nicky cried. He pulled Joe towards him by the tails of his scarf, pecked the tip of his freezing nose, and grabbed the pistachios. 

* * *

Andy and Quynh arrived first, shaking the snow off the shoulders of their woollen coats. Joe pulled them each into a big bear hug and they went through to the kitchen where they popped the first bottle of champagne. 

Nile and Booker arrived late, they blamed the weather but Joe knew Nile was probably a little anxious about meeting Nicky’s friends for the first time. Joe didn’t know what she was nervous about, she was always good at adapting to new situations. 

And indeed, after a slightly awkward hello and a round of names and champagne, Nile quickly found herself on the couch scheming with Quynh (much to Joe’s protestations) about how to knock the walls down in between the apartments. In the kitchen, Andy and Booker were talking scotch vintages as Nicky put the last finishing touches on the hors d’oeuvres. 

Nile connected her phone to the bluetooth speaker and started playing something perfect, as always. Andy and Booker helped Nicky carry all the food to the coffee table where they all gathered. Joe settled in an armchair, Booker and Nile on the couch, and Quynh and Andy and Nicky on the floor. 

They all exclaimed and moaned their praise as they picked through the finger food. Joe watched Nicky’s expression carefully. The nervousness he’d been carrying around all day flooded out, replaced with that relaxed, sincere joy. Joe topped up each of their coupes with more fizzing champagne and held his glass up. Everyone became quiet, the music played softly on in the background. 

“I’d like to make a cheesy toast, if you’ll all indulge me,” Joe said. 

There were a few champagne-laden giggles of assent. 

“First, to Nile, who sent me the first ASMR video I ever saw, thank you,” He pointed his glass at her, she nodded. 

“I take full credit for that,” she whispered to Quynh. 

“And to Booker, for helping me set up my studio and teaching me how to use a microphone properly.” 

Booker tilted his head and smiled. 

“To Quynh, for being the most dedicated, most hilarious, and most unpaid social media manager.” 

Quynh let out a low chuckle, “It’s all pro bono, baby.” 

“To Andy,” Joe paused. Andy looked at him with that cat-like squint. “For trusting me not to fuck everything up.” 

Andy’s face relaxed into a soft smile, one that Joe was seeing more and more these days. He treasured it. 

“And to Nicky.” 

Everyone turned to look at Nicky, who had his glass raised, his gaze fixed on Joe. 

Joe swallowed, his throat suddenly tight. 

“To Nicky, my muse, my heart, my everything.” Joe paused. Nicky smiled at him supportively. “You mean the world to me and I’m so grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for being in these silly videos, but more importantly,” Joe paused again. Nicky’s eyes fluttered, Joe could tell he was doing his best to hold back tears. “Thank you for sharing your life with me.” 

“Hear, hear!” Andy said quietly, pointing her glass in Nicky’s direction and then in Joe’s. Everyone else followed suit, Quynh throwing in some celebratory growls, Booker a low whoop, Nile thumping the table. 

Nicky mouthed _Ti Amo_ at Joe and took a sip of his champagne. 

“And to Joe!” Quynh yelled. 

“To Joe!” Everyone chorused. 

“For having the most relaxing videos on the internet,” Nile cheered.

“For having the horniest yet loyal fanbase,” Booker scoffed. 

“For knowing exactly how to use his hands,” Quynh wiggled an eyebrow. 

“For not fucking it up,” Andy said quietly with a smile. 

Joe’s cheeks were hot and sore from smiling so hard. He was glowing with adoration. He caught Nicky’s eye across the coffee table. 

Nicky, whose smile heavy, whispered, “For everything.”

Joe winked back at him. 

They all cheered and took more generous gulps of champagne as Booker got up to set up the “special presentation,” which involved connecting his phone to the television. 

Joe was confused. _Special presentation?_

“You’ve been betrayed,” Nicky said as he crossed over to where Joe was sitting. With one swift motion he swung his leg up and nudged Joe forward so he was sitting behind him in the ample armchair. He wrapped his arms around Joe and leaned in close to his ear. “I confess, I am your betrayer,” Nicky whispered. 

Joe looked quizzically around. Andy and Quynh shook their heads, but Nile was trying desperately to hold back a smile. 

“And for our special presentation,” Booker said, standing up straight after connecting his phone. “I would like to thank Nile for her editing skills and Nicky for his subterfuge.” 

He hit play on his phone and suddenly on the TV there was video of Joe wandering around his studio, checking lighting.

Joe turned back to look at Nicky who just whispered, “Keep watching.” 

And moments later as video-Joe went to cross the studio he tripped, spectacularly, lights came crashing down, video-Joe cursed imaginatively, the camera shook and fell. Suddenly, the Monsters Inc. theme song kicked in and a montage of bloopers rolled. 

From Joe’s phone going off, a paint tube exploding, a doorbell ringing, to Nicky getting the hiccoughs during filming, them dissolving in laughter after an astonishingly loud gurgle from Joe’s stomach, Nicky falling off the chair after getting too relaxed, Joe kissing and dragging Nicky out of the room after one of their more sensual sessions where Joe couldn’t even wait to turn the camera off, Nicky hiccoughing again. 

The montage went on and Joe burst out in laughter at each new blooper. It must have taken Nicky hours to sift through all the material, and Nile hours to edit. 

When it was finally done they all applauded loudly. Nile took a quick bow, and Nicky waved a hand in a flourish. He then got up and started clearing plates. 

“I knew you didn’t need to borrow my laptop for that conference,” Joe said, his eyes squinting but a smile plastered on his face. 

“Oops,” Nicky smirked back at him as he went to the kitchen. 

Joe shook his head and helped clear. They got everyone settled at the table and then Nicky presented them with a four course meal none would soon forget. All of Joe’s favourites, a mix of Tunisian and Italian, with special nods to each of their guests. Fluffy squash gnocchi in brown butter and sage sauce for Quynh, a fresh beet salad with goat cheese and a chili honey vinaigrette for Nile, hot sourdough rolls with european butter and flaky salt for Booker, and, of course, crispy, sticky pistachio-covered baklava for Andy.

The conversation and the wine flowed easily as the night wore on. Booker and Quynh bonded over time spent in Paris and Nile and Andy fell into a deep discussion about the repatriation of ancient artefacts, which everyone at the table had serious opinions about. And the whole time, Joe kept sneaking surreptitious glances over at Nicky, who was thoroughly engaged, his eyes bright. 

Joe wished he could bottle a moment, so warm was he with the glow of the evening, of friendship and food, of Nicky’s shining face. 

Once they were all thoroughly stuffed, they retired to the living room, dropping the plates off in the sink on the way. No one had the energy to do them, that was a problem for future Joe and Nicky. 

Booker, Nile, Quynh, and Andy squished together onto the couch and Joe curled up on the armchair as Nicky fetched them each more wine and laid out a tray of small cookies and squares of chocolate, not that anyone was still hungry. They picked at it gratefully though. 

“ _Oh mon dieu,_ ” Booker said suddenly, glancing out the window for the first time that evening. 

A heavy layer of snow covered everything in sight and it seemed to be falling heavier than before. Quynh whipped out her phone and checked the forecast, it was only going to get worse. 

“Ugh, does that mean we have to leave?” Nile said, a displeased frown on her face as she picked up a cookie and ate it in consolation. 

Nicky shot Joe a quick questioning glance and Joe nodded. 

“That means you all have to _stay_ ,” Joe said, not ready to hear a single protestation. Nicky curled up in the armchair behind him. 

No one seemed all that eager to argue. 

And so, with the renewed energy of a promised sleepover, they carried on with their evening. They laughed as Andy regaled them with stories of Nicky’s first few years at the university and Booker told them all of Joe’s brief stint in radio commercials. 

It was only when Nicky spotted Nile’s eyes fighting to stay open, her head rested on Booker’s shoulder, that they decided to call it a night. Nicky fetched them all pajamas from his wardrobe as Booker helped Joe pull out the couch. 

Andy and Quynh were to take Nicky’s room, Booker and Nile would take Joe’s, and Joe and Nicky insisted on the couch.

Once they’d all improvised toothbrushes and hugged and kissed each other tipsily goodnight, everyone retired to their respective beds. 

Except, of course, Nicky who was puttering around the kitchen. Not cleaning, exactly, but arranging things so that it would be easier to clean in the morning. 

Last thing to do was take out the garbage. It could technically wait but Joe knew Nicky hated leaving that particular task for the morning, so he started tying up the bags and heading for the door. 

“I can do that,” Nicky said, rushing to grab them from Joe. 

“I know you can,” Joe smirked. Nicky squinted at him.

“Let me at least get the door then.” Nicky quickly grabbed one of the many scarves that was hanging by the door, wrapped it around Joe’s neck and then opened the door for them both. 

“ _Grazie_ ,” Joe tilted his head. 

“ _Prego_ ,” Nicky said, still chagrined that Joe wouldn’t let him carry a bag. 

Still, Nicky followed Joe to the big dumpster behind their building. It was covered completely in snow and Joe laughed as Nicky cursed, wiping it off with his bare hands. 

Joe tossed the bags quickly and felt a shiver rush through his body. It really was freezing outside. He looked at Nicky who didn’t even have the benefit of a scarf. But even shivering from the cold, his cheeks and nose bright pink, his hair dotted with thick flakes of snow, he took Joe’s breath away. 

“What?” Nicky asked, a smile creeping onto his face. 

“You’re just…” Joe, for once, couldn’t find the words. Words for this feeling hadn’t been invented yet. Joe was sure he must be the first person to ever really feel the depth of this love. 

He settled on, “Thank you.” He reached out for Nicky’s waist and pulled him close. 

Nicky slid his hands around Joe and up the back of his sweater, seeking the warmth there. Joe gasped and chuckled at the intrusion of such icicles. 

“You deserve it,” Nicky said. 

His hands moved in the warmth of Joe’s sweater, from Joe’s back, across his ribs, up to his chest. Joe inhaled sharply as Nicky’s hands brushed quickly across his nipples which stiffened instantly with the cool touch. 

Nicky raised an eyebrow.

“I did promise you shenanigans,” he said in a low voice. 

Joe laughed but his mouth went dry as he saw the look on Nicky’s face shift, as Nicky kept skimming his hands along Joe’s chest, just brushing the tips of his nipples, which were straining towards that barely-there touch. 

“We gave away both bedrooms,” Joe breathed shakily. 

A small gasp escaped as Nicky rolled one nipple quickly between his freezing fingers. 

“We’ll have to improvise,” Nicky grinned. 

He looked around. 3 AM by the dumpsters was not a very popular spot. 

Gently, he pushed Joe backwards towards a slightly covered area and Joe felt his back connect with a brick wall. Nicky pressed his body against Joe’s, nipped at his neck and started pulling and twisting Joe’s nipples between his cold fingertips. Joe’s breath became shallow, his chest heaving against Nicky’s hands, his hips rocking up. 

“We’re gonna get frostbite,” Joe whispered, though he absolutely did not want Nicky to stop. _What do I need all my toes for anyway?_ He thought deliriously. 

“I guess I’ll have to be efficient then,” Nicky winked and withdrew his hands, bending down quickly to his knees and fishing Joe out of his pants. 

Joe, who was only half hard, moaned as Nicky’s swallowed around him. He felt himself swell quickly as Nicky hollowed out his mouth, creating a maddeningly tight hot suction. His tongue worked the underside of Joe’s cock as he looked up at him, his eyes electric in the night. 

Nicky grabbed Joe’s wrist and brought his hand to the back of his head. Joe threaded his fingers through Nicky’s hair and Nicky smiled, or rather, the corner of his lips curved as much as they could with his mouth full of Joe’s now firm cock.

Nicky’s chilled fingers toyed with Joe’s balls as the wet heat of his mouth enveloped him. The contrast made Joe’s head spin. 

He closed his eyes and threw his head back against the brick. The wet gurgling sounds of Nicky’s mouth, the soft encouraging moans deep in his throat, Joe’s own heaving breath, they were so loud against the quiet backdrop of the still, snowy night. 

Nicky pulled off for a moment, catching his breath and wiping the saliva from his chin. 

As the cool night air rushed against Joe’s cock he hunched over with a groan, as if punched in the gut, the sensation was so shocking. Blood rushed to his groin and he felt himself get harder, as if that were possible. 

Nicky looked at him curiously. “Okay?” 

Joe nodded quickly. 

Nicky moved his head forward to take in Joe again, but then paused, looked up at Joe, as if considering his next move. 

He licked one long stripe up the underside of Joe’s cock and then, instead of taking him into the heat of his mouth, he pursed his lips together and blew out a steady stream of cold air along the trail of his spit. 

" _Oh f-fuck_ ,” Joe whimpered, back arching into the sensation, his cock now a deep crimson, twitching up and leaking.

“I’ll have to remember this for later,” Nicky murmured before licking his lips and taking Joe in again, blowing him so efficiently, so exactly as Joe liked it, that he was coming in no time. He grit his teeth against a muffled sob and grabbed Nicky’s hair as if it was the only thing keeping him tethered to this planet. 

Nicky’s throat worked furiously to swallow all of Joe’s release, still a little leaked out the corner of his mouth. 

He released Joe and Joe hissed as his now over-sensitive cock was hit with another rush of cool air. In one swift motion, Nicky stood up and tucked Joe’s now softening dick back into his pants. 

Joe stared at him hazily. 

Nicky smiled back beatifically at him and stuck his hands back under Joe’s sweater, finding the heat of his armpits and tucking in his hands. 

Joe pulled him closer, licked the corner of his mouth, tasted the pearly remnants of himself there. Nicky hummed contentedly and kissed Joe with warm, swollen lips. 

Joe slid his knee between Nicky’s legs. He was surprised, when he brushed against the contours of Nicky’s cock, that Nicky was completely soft. 

“No?” Joe asked with raised eyebrows. 

Nicky grinned. “Are you crazy? It’s fucking freezing out here,” he chattered with adrenaline and cold, as if only a maniac would be able to get hard under such circumstances. 

Joe gawked at him. 

Nicky chuckled softly and kissed the disbelief off his face. “I’ll claim my shenanigan later,” He whispered and dragged Joe back inside to the warmth and surprising comfort of the pull-out couch. 

* * *

The next morning, Nicky awoke to sounds already coming from his kitchen. He blinked blearily, trying to understand just what was going on. As his vision focussed he spotted Nile and Quynh bumping hips and dancing to some old Motown hit. Booker was shimmying his shoulders as he watched something on the stove. Andy was humming quietly as she set the table. 

Nicky smiled. They all cut a very charming scene, all of them still dressed as they were in his old clothes. Quynh was swimming in one of his flannel shirts (somehow she’d lost the pants Nicky had offered), Andy looked cozy in a soft jersey sweater and sweats, Nile looked surprisingly chic in a holey old cashmere jumper, and Booker looked like an overgrown undergrad in a full university sweatsuit. They danced around the kitchen, not noticing that Nicky was up. 

“Morning,” he said quietly, the ghost of a hangover making his head ache. 

“Morning!” They all replied. 

Quynh spun him in between her and Nile, and he laughed, trying as best he could to keep up with their moves. 

“Honey, let the man have some coffee before enlisting him as a rockette,” Andy teased as she returned to grab some napkins. 

Nicky smiled gratefully and disentangled himself to grab some coffee. “You didn’t have to clean up,” He said to Andy, who he knew would have organized the troops. 

Andy shrugged. “The least we could do.” 

Booker announced that breakfast was almost ready and Nile went to wake Joe, pouncing on him and nearly giving him a heart attack. “Morning sunshine!” She said brightly as he muttered just where she could shove her sunshine. 

Joe rolled out of bed and quickly found Nicky. Joe was always clingy and in need of cuddling in the early morning. He tucked himself to Nicky’s side and Nicky pet his shoulders in apology. _I know, how dare people be awake at this hour, let alone be cheerful._

They assembled around the table and Booker presented a selection of french toast and pancakes, smothered in maple syrup and dusted with powdered sugar and various fruit. Andy poured everyone more coffee and orange juice and ruffled Joe’s hair as she passed. 

“Morning sleepyhead,” she said fondly. All he could manage back was a soft _harumph_ as Nicky prepared him his coffee. 

“So are you guys filming today?” Nile asked as they tucked into breakfast. 

Joe nodded as the coffee started to work and he felt his brain clicking into motion. 

“Now listen, I know you said you’d never be nude on camera...” Quynh said, pulling out her phone and scrolling to show them her concept. 

The morning passed them by gently. They finished breakfast and everyone wanted to simply lounge around. No one was eager to change or venture out into the winter wonderland that had turned partly to slush in the sun. So, Joe grabbed some blankets, and they made more coffee and piled on the couch to watch a bad movie. 

The morning turned into the afternoon, one movie into another, and Nicky made them all a warm Tunisian chickpea stew for lunch, which they gratefully sopped up with leftover sourdough. 

As the movie blared on, Joe kissed Nicky’s wrist as he quietly cleared away his plate, and Nicky smiled softly at him. 

And for the thousandth time, Joe’s heart felt full to bursting. 

He looked over to the couch where Booker was napping softly, his head in Nile’s lap. Nile’s eyes were struggling to stay open, and her head lolled back onto the couch. Quynh, beside them, had fallen asleep wrapped in Andy’s arms. Andy glanced over at Joe. 

“They shouldn’t have gotten up so early,” She whispered, a gentle tease in her tone. 

Joe laughed quietly. Nicky returned and wedged in behind Joe, pulling a blanket around them both and resting his chin on Joe’s neck. 

“So, good party?” Nicky whispered. 

Joe looked back at him, unable to answer, a sudden lump in his throat. Of course it was good, it was perfect. His love, his family, food, wine, laughter, a quick blow job by the dumpsters, Joe had it all. Again, he thought, _could there be a sweeter arrangement?_

He nodded and kissed Nicky quickly. 

Nicky sensed his sudden swell of emotion and wrapped his arms tightly around Joe, keeping him grounded. Joe leaned his head against Nicky and closed his eyes. Perfectly warm, perfectly close, perfectly happy, he drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

A BRIEF SOFT EPILOGUE

A year later and it was snowing again. Joe thought back fondly to that dinner party, the first time they’d all gathered. Now it was like they’d never lived without one another. Joe thought about just how much had changed since then. He and Nicky had convinced the very accommodating landlord to let them remodel their units into one. Nicky had graduated with much fanfare and found a postdoc at the university. Joe had hit milestone after milestone, and his ASMR channel was now the major source of his income. 

And yet, he was surprised how little had changed. Nicky’s kiss still thrilled him as it did the very first time. They still traded soft touches and poetry before bed. Nicky still made the coffee in the morning. 

And, as Nicky helped him frame the shot, he still noticed when Joe was even minutely stressed or worried. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, putting his hand on Joe’s shoulder, steadying him. “We don’t have to film today.” 

Joe shook his head. “I’m just nervous about the new idea. I really hope you like it.” 

Nicky smiled warmly. “I’m sure I’ll love it.” 

Joe nodded. He’d told Nicky that it was a surprise, that if Nicky hated it or if Nicky wanted the video deleted forever, he would do so. He was sure that Nicky would say yes, he’d never been so sure about anything in his life, but still, he wasn’t sure if Nicky would want the moment immortalized or made public. It was half Booker’s idea, half Quynh’s, and Joe had been working up the nerve for weeks, a video seemed like the perfect excuse. 

They settled into their usual rhythm easily. Joe announced to the camera that there was a special surprise at the end of the video but first he had to get Nicky completely relaxed. 

“Such a difficult task,” Nicky laughed quietly. 

Joe smiled at him fondly and started his usual routine of running his fingers over Nicky’s shoulders. Nicky, as usual, sighed and closed his eyes. Even after so many videos, Nicky still relaxed instantly at Joe’s touch. It humbled him. 

After half an hour of soft caresses, featherlight touches, Nicky’s quiet happy sighs, Joe realized it was now or never. He took a deep breath and reached into the pocket where the small box had been burning a hole. 

“Okay, keep your eyes closed, time to play Guess that Object,” Joe whispered slowly. 

Nicky shifted slightly, to show that he was paying attention and not, in fact, asleep. Joe brought the ring box close to his right ear, tapping its surface lightly, slowly opening and closing the hinge, testing its soft creaking sound. 

Nicky furrowed his brows and Joe took the box to his left ear, tapping again with the tips of his fingers. The box did make a very pleasing sound, soft and hollow as it was.

He continued for a while as Nicky made wrong guess after wrong guess. _Mug? Dvd case? Cookie Jar?_

“Okay I give up,” Nicky said, snapping his eyes open suddenly, a smile on his face. 

Joe froze. He’d intended to already be on a knee at this point. 

Nicky looked in the monitor to see what Joe was holding. His smile faded. His eyes went wide. 

Joe rushed in front of him, kneeling down. He opened the box. 

“Marry me?” He said simply. He’d had a whole speech planned out but it seemed unimportant now. His heart was hammering in his chest.

Nicky’s chin trembled, his eyes filling quickly with tears, his breathing shallow. 

“Nicky?” Joe asked again with a gentle smile. 

And suddenly, Nicky got up, rushing out of the room. 

Joe thought he would vomit. 

He’d fucked it up. Again. He’d rushed it. He shouldn’t have done it on camera. He was a total and complete idiot. Joe felt his own breathing starting to get away from him, he couldn’t get enough air. His eyes started to burn. 

He heard the door to their bedroom slam shut and he really started to panic. His face felt unbearably hot as tears starting began rolling down. He covered his face with his hands, muttering _fuck fuck fuck_ over and over through small choked off noises.

Then, suddenly, a hand was circled around his wrist, pulling it away gently. 

Joe gasped wetly.

Nicky was back, Nicky was kneeling in front of him. Nicky was smiling, though it was shot through with worry. 

Nicky then picked up Joe's other hand, gently spread out his fingers and placed in it his own small box, opened to reveal a simple ring. 

“No, _you_ marry _me_.” He said, his eyes gleaming. 

He gazed at Joe with a tear-stained smile. Joe knew this one. It was the smile that appeared whenever Nicky was happy but overwhelmed, overwhelmed with the sheer disbelief of joy, that it was his, that he deserved it. Joe knew behind that smile were the years of loneliness and shame suddenly turned to shadow by Joe’s bright love.

Despite everything, Joe could tell that Nicky was nervous. Joe knew that Nicky’s heart would always carry those scars. And Joe vowed to love each and every one. To love him when he felt he deserved it and even more when he didn’t. 

Joe laughed or sobbed, he couldn’t tell. He grabbed Nicky’s face and pulled him into a bruising kiss. It was wet and salty, it was broken by giggles and tears, apologies and absolution. It was perfect. 

Nicky later insisted Joe publish the video. _It’s too good not to share_ , he’d said, and he was right. 

Joe titled it, “I finally propose and he walks out!?” It went absolutely viral, his most viewed video to date. 

The comments were a series of congratulations, crying emojis, validated conspiracy theorists, and a few confused but intrigued well-wishers ( _I don’t know what ASMR is, but I guess I have no choice but to stan?)_

Joe scrolled through them that night in bed, a goofy smile plastered to his face. The texts in the group chat had been even better. 

> Nile: You had us with the title, babe, ngl!!!! 
> 
> Booker: Nile had a HEART ATTACK
> 
> Quynh: Oh I could see it coming a mile away. Also lmao Joe, you panicking when Nicky walked out. As if! 
> 
> Andy: Fun fact, Nicky’s had that ring for months
> 
> Booker: Either way, you all owe me $$$
> 
> Quynh: Anyway, I’m sure you guys won’t see this for a while because you’re off furiously fucking somewhere but CONGRATS! We’re poppin’ bottles over here!!! 
> 
> Nile: Yes!!!! (with several champagne and crying emojis)
> 
> Booker: I still think there should have been flowers involved but I’m a romantic, I guess
> 
> Andy: I love you idiots 

Joe put his phone down and turned to Nicky who was nodding off with his nose in a book. He had a right to be tired. After two rounds of, as Quynh rightly guessed, furious fucking, Joe quickly edited and released the video. They then spent the rest of the evening quietly appreciating each other. 

Nicky drew them a bubbly candlelit bath. Joe poured the wine, cut up some fruit. They stayed there, in the slightly cramped tub, limbs entwined, whispering sweet nonsense, tasting sweetness and each other until the bubbles faded, the water turned lukewarm. 

They rolled into bed, trading lazy kisses and caresses until Joe got too curious and had to check the comments on the video with a gracious wave from Nicky, who picked up his book. 

Joe now carefully placed the book aside and gathered Nicky into his arms. A deep rumbling hum reverberated through them both. 

“So, what do they think?” Nicky asked sleepily, pretending that he had not, in fact, just been snoring softly.

“I’ll tell you in the morning,” Joe nosed at his jaw and kissed the soft skin there.

“And what do you think?” Nicky asked, burrowing closer to Joe.

“I think,” Joe said, placing a trail of kisses down Nicky’s neck, “It’s a good thing that you decided to be a loud and obnoxious neighbour,” Joe whispered. 

Nicky snorted and closed his eyes, “I think so too.” 

Joe felt his eyes get heavy. He rested his nose in the curve of Nicky’s neck and inhaled deeply. He wondered if he would ever get tired of it, of Nicky's earthy scent, of the long line of his body against him, of the warmth they generated even in the depth of winter, and he knew, in his bones, that he and Nicky could live a hundred, a thousand more lives and he would always want more, he could never tire of they way they pieced perfectly together, like a puzzle, like destiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I sat down to write this last bit and it’s like I never wanted to leave this oh-so-soft AU? 5k+ words later?? I do apologize! I hope you don’t mind indulging me (and I hope your teeth aren’t rotting from all the fluff!). Also shoutout to Jasminetea for the concept for the epilogue - absolutely iconic! I hope I did it justice. 
> 
> But seriously, a champagne toast to you all for sticking around and reading this slightly silly AU that just sort of spiralled. 
> 
> This is the first thing I’ve written for pleasure in a very long time and I’m so absolutely humbled by the response. I write a lot for my work, but it’s rarely validated like this, so to read the comments and see the kudos -- I can’t tell you how much it means! 
> 
> I have my eye on another (totally unrelated) prompt, so we’ll see if that materializes soon. But until then, thank you for joining me on this cozy little journey through the weird and wonderful world of ASMR <3


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